twilightdawn

So I found out today I have an infected tumor in my chest, I don't know what to make of it, and nor does the doc which makes it that much worse. It just seems like one thing after another right now, last week my old apartment complex tried collecting money I didn't owe upwards of around 1800 dollars, got it dropped but still, shortly after that I had surgery for the 3rd time to try to correct my foot thanks to the military and their malpractice. Got laid off from work on Monday and now this. Shity few weeks and findinb comfort in friends is next to impossible being new in town and my best friend (Long story made short dated years ago when we were young didn't work out stayed friend lost touch when I went over seas the 1st time and now that im back she becoming my best friend and stable rock in my so called life) which I am torn between loving her as a friend and as someone I can see myself with. Knowing it wouldn't work out in the long run not to mention she has a boy friend she madly in love with and I wish her them the best, still doesn't help the fact in this crazy thing called life shes the closest thing I have to companion ship of any kind rough but that's life right now. Not to bitch even more but to make matters worse I have my heart set on moving to NYC and starting over trying to make it as a photographer and the stress of the unknown is just compiling with my health issues and the loneliness im trying not to become accustom to. Sorry to vent in a blog but right now just writing this down is atleast getting it off my chest more than I can say for the beer and vodka and the occasional bowl or two. Anyways thanks for listing to the bitching hope all is well with everyone else. Good luck guys and gnite