You ever think about stealing a kid?
You know, one of those kids whose parents let them run fuckin' wild all over the place with no supervision.
Just to teach the parents a lesson.
Or maybe just borrowing somebody's kid.
Just keep 'em for a month or so and teach them to say the filthiest curse words imaginable so that when they get home they're...
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You know, one of those kids whose parents let them run fuckin' wild all over the place with no supervision.
Just to teach the parents a lesson.
Or maybe just borrowing somebody's kid.
Just keep 'em for a month or so and teach them to say the filthiest curse words imaginable so that when they get home they're...
Read More
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
I had just written an entry that was a bit down-beat (or as down-beat as I ever get) and then I read some entries by other people that were sad or somber and so now I have to change mine, just to be different.
So instead I will talk about monkeys.
Because there is nothing somber or down-beat about a monkey.
I mean, they throw...
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So instead I will talk about monkeys.
Because there is nothing somber or down-beat about a monkey.
I mean, they throw...
Read More
VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
robosagogo:
I think I'd limit my reincarnation to things that die fairly early, so as to avoid the tedium of having to live out numerous lifetimes. Is there a species of highly combustible marsupial I can be reincarnated as, or something? Perhaps a frog that's allergic to its own organs?
And as much as I hate rich, old people, I do kind of hope one of them will marry me and then immediately die. There's something about the whole "paying my dues" part of life that just makes me want to skip it altogether. Maybe it's the work.
And as much as I hate rich, old people, I do kind of hope one of them will marry me and then immediately die. There's something about the whole "paying my dues" part of life that just makes me want to skip it altogether. Maybe it's the work.
You ever have a moment of self-revelation?
You know, maybe you just suddenly and for no real reason, realize something about yourself that maybe is rather obvious but you had never really thought of it before?
I just did.
I just realized how incredibly boring I would be to hang around with.
I don't do anything really.
I just sit around with the cat and...
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You know, maybe you just suddenly and for no real reason, realize something about yourself that maybe is rather obvious but you had never really thought of it before?
I just did.
I just realized how incredibly boring I would be to hang around with.
I don't do anything really.
I just sit around with the cat and...
Read More
There is something terribly, terribly wrong with this country when Oprah Winfrey and Walt Disney are considered "greater Americans" than George Washington or Benjamin Franklin.
Okay, let's stack them up against each other, we'll do Oprah versus Washington and Walt Disney versus Franklin.
1.) Okay, what has Oprah done?
She has a talk show.
A fuckin' talk show.
How does that compare to leading a...
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Okay, let's stack them up against each other, we'll do Oprah versus Washington and Walt Disney versus Franklin.
1.) Okay, what has Oprah done?
She has a talk show.
A fuckin' talk show.
How does that compare to leading a...
Read More
VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
copillia:
that makes me sick. especially oprah. if i could, i'd punch her in the face.
robosagogo:
Being dead really hasn't helped their careers, and I think that's just the leverage Oprah needed.
[Edited on Jun 12, 2005 9:18AM]
[Edited on Jun 12, 2005 9:18AM]
I doubt, that even in the furthest reaches of his deranged imagination, Hitler ever thought he would end up as the butt of so many jokes.
I don't know about you, but at least a fourth of my jokes have Hitler in them somewhere.
It has to be his mustache.
It just lends itself to comedy.
Why is it that all these Suicidegirls have all...
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I don't know about you, but at least a fourth of my jokes have Hitler in them somewhere.
It has to be his mustache.
It just lends itself to comedy.
Why is it that all these Suicidegirls have all...
Read More
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
black_tar_heroin:
dude skinhead ROB lost all the weight.. .man i liked him better when he was fat!!
black_tar_heroin:
poor jose.......
dude i talked to Tiffany parker last night..
amy cumming came to my party...
and i preached at rich!!!!!!!!!!!
and he got SOOOOOOOO fucking mad
dude i talked to Tiffany parker last night..
amy cumming came to my party...
and i preached at rich!!!!!!!!!!!
and he got SOOOOOOOO fucking mad
Why are there never any really interesting candidates for the Presidency?
Like Xorlog, Imperial Dictator of the Planet Geezelgrog?
Or maybe a guy that dresses up like a turnip and runs on a platform of vegatable superiority?
When are we gonna see some stuff like this?
God, the 21st century is boring.
Sometimes I read people's comments and when there are a bunch of real...
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Like Xorlog, Imperial Dictator of the Planet Geezelgrog?
Or maybe a guy that dresses up like a turnip and runs on a platform of vegatable superiority?
When are we gonna see some stuff like this?
God, the 21st century is boring.
Sometimes I read people's comments and when there are a bunch of real...
Read More
VIEW 13 of 13 COMMENTS
black_tar_heroin:
new depeche mode!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Special announcement pending...post date: May 27th, 2005
The band will be making a special announcement on June 16th, at a press conference in Dusseldorf. Stay tuned for more details...
Special announcement pending...post date: May 27th, 2005
The band will be making a special announcement on June 16th, at a press conference in Dusseldorf. Stay tuned for more details...
black_tar_heroin:
hardcore ray is a fucking metrosexual...
i saw him dancing and smiling and shit and being nice?
the death of hardcore happened and we never got any chance to celebrate. . reread this in hunter thompsons ghost voice.... yeah... rich tried to hump a married woman too.... ummmmmm....
my parents are going out of town...
i am going to dress up like a zombie for the week.... zombie keg stand!!!! wu!
i saw him dancing and smiling and shit and being nice?
the death of hardcore happened and we never got any chance to celebrate. . reread this in hunter thompsons ghost voice.... yeah... rich tried to hump a married woman too.... ummmmmm....
my parents are going out of town...
i am going to dress up like a zombie for the week.... zombie keg stand!!!! wu!
I am the king of tattoos.
See my user profile?
That isn't even my face.
It's a beautiful tattoo.
I have tattoos all over my body, even on the inside.
For example, I have tattoos of Sigfried and Roy on my kidneys.
There is a great big tattoo of the cast of "Charles in Charge" on my spleen.
Horny yet, ladies?
Try to control yourselves,...
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See my user profile?
That isn't even my face.
It's a beautiful tattoo.
I have tattoos all over my body, even on the inside.
For example, I have tattoos of Sigfried and Roy on my kidneys.
There is a great big tattoo of the cast of "Charles in Charge" on my spleen.
Horny yet, ladies?
Try to control yourselves,...
Read More
VIEW 11 of 11 COMMENTS
naja_haje:
More likely I have to pay him to stop.
maneki_neko:
i think you have to issue that license to yourself. i think it costs $100,000. naww, that would be too perfect.
it is really hot here. puking hot. i give up.
i'm going to go smoke a cigarette and act tough.
i think you should just run away from home is all. or convince someone to kidnap you.
it is really hot here. puking hot. i give up.
i'm going to go smoke a cigarette and act tough.
i think you should just run away from home is all. or convince someone to kidnap you.
It is really your civic duty to be horrible to people.
If you get the chance, spit on someone, a complete stranger.
They will act all mad and get huffy puffy but inside they will be thanking you.
Because you just made their day.
You see, when you throw urine on someone or maybe you say something truly terrible about their mother, they love that...
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If you get the chance, spit on someone, a complete stranger.
They will act all mad and get huffy puffy but inside they will be thanking you.
Because you just made their day.
You see, when you throw urine on someone or maybe you say something truly terrible about their mother, they love that...
Read More
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
Who wants a new boyfriend!?
I can accommodate you and for only the small and reasonable price of my rent being paid!
What a deal!
Or, if enough money is involved, I can be your new girlfriend!
Or a reasonable substitute, anyway.
Act now!
I can accommodate you and for only the small and reasonable price of my rent being paid!
What a deal!
Or, if enough money is involved, I can be your new girlfriend!
Or a reasonable substitute, anyway.
Act now!
loveonaplate:
what can i get for 10dolla? anything you want 
black_tar_heroin:
10 dollars worth of Joes loving.
I don't really remember the Cold War too well as it was on the outs when I was a kid but I remember being about six years old and having to do the "in case of nuclear attack drill" at school.
As if hiding under our desks was going to save us from radiation poisoning or disentegration from the direct hit of a 50 mega-ton...
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As if hiding under our desks was going to save us from radiation poisoning or disentegration from the direct hit of a 50 mega-ton...
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Anyway, I think people who let their kids go wild want them to be kidnapped. Most people don't feel okay giving up an 8 year old for adoption, afer all.
I always figured that the disabled were a fine resource for interesting acquaintances. Being old is more or less a disability, so why not try out the deaf (the music rule wouldn't apply, right?) or deformed? Have you ever considered the erotic possibilities a bearded lady provides? Course, for all I know you may very have already gotten yourself some handicapped friends. You could even be handicapped yourself.
I don't know why I'm worried about offending somebody who wants to kidnap mismanaged young ones and watch dudes get flattened.
[Edited on Jun 24, 2005 3:32AM]