tunnel_vision

I'm trying hard to not let things get me down. I found a novelty voodoo doll next to the register at the bookstore yesterday, took it home, wrote my transplant coordinator's name on it and burned it on the beach.

In a few minutes I head to the hospital for a day of playing lab rat ... I don't know If I will be leaving the hospital tonight. They are moving real quickly on this problem ... last time I was told I needed surgery at 3pm and had the surgery the next morning, and that was just a bad hernia. I hope these tests...
Read More

Having the flu sucks ... I've been knocked out for the past couple of days. I've had some strange fucking dreams too, a medication must be causing them. This afternoon I was finally able to eat a real meal and keep it down. I might even try some light exercise tonight

Holy crap ... I have strange dreams while running a fever

I'm still in bed sick ... at least nothing is coming up now, but the urge to vomit is constantly there. I think my fever may be gone ... I hope. Ok time to pull the blankets over my head and try to sleep some more

I'm not feeling much better today ... I might have the flu. I should have the results of my bloodwork late this afternoon or tomorrow morning.

I think I'll go for a walk, some fresh air and sunlight might make me feel better. Then I might finally go see PS I Love You at the theater.

Otherwise everything is snafu

It's 5am and my insomnia is fucking killing me. At least the pounding in my ears has stopped for now. My bp has risen fro 60/27 earlier this afternoon to 147/69 moments ago. I wonder if I can try to stay up for 24 hours to reset my bodies internal clock.

I'm not feeling very well tonight ... shit, I have not felt well for a few days. I suffered a sudden bloodpressure drop after having 14 vials of blood drawn for major transplant and tissue type tests ,my bp dropped to 60/27 and I had to spend a couple of hours laying down with a saline IV in my arm while I was seeing stars....
Read More

I don't think sleep ever came last night. I feel sad, lonely, and empty inside ... perhaps it's time I start looking for what's missing from my life.

I just had a sleepless night again ... I don't know why. It seemed like I just layed in bed with my heart racing until I finally passed out after sunrise. I didn't have tea before or after working out at 4am so it wasn't caffiene ... and I certainly didn't do anything exciting last night. All I did is stay home alone, go outside...
Read More

Do you want to hear something fucked up? My dad has cancer and may not survive the chemo ... today my sister told him she can't take it and does not want to see or talk to him anymore. Then to top it all off she admitted to knowing my ex was cheating on me and chose to not tell me.

I have not consumed...
Read More

Good night