tulipbooty

i am late for class
and mostly indifferent, to tell the truth
i have this idea that if you are paying for an education, it is subject to your whim
and if you want to write in your journal on your favorite softcore site, go ahead
your brain is obviously interested in different activities than verb pronunciations or object pronoun denominatives
or whatever the hell they are

yesterday i got lost in barcelona
la roma tripped me up, turned me inward on a wayward triangle
and i found myself repeating the same devastating angles as the person that had warned me of failure
in a small way it reminded me of my mother
who is the masthead of her own ship, and mine, as the case may be
and she warned me in smaller, less metaphorically based ways of living her life during mine
but i paid no warning and plowed ahead anyway
and now, after a desert of bad decisions and half-formed memories
with the occasional nostalgic nightmare or wet dream thrown in
i find myself on a new path
and it terrifies me constantly
but i am grateful, and it breaks my heart, literally, to read her emails from across the ocean, figuratively and literally, from our homeland
she is so proud of me
and i am so relieved to be alive
slightly crippled but still upright
dazed but gaping with unaccountable joy
and in love
its a good life