Wow. What a roller coaster. Yesterday my depression kicked in after a few hypomanic days. Things are a little more level now (I think). I've suffered from dysthymia with occasional depressive episodes for pretty much all of my adult life. It's largely controlled now by meds (wellbutrin and Zoloft) and occasional individual or group therapy. The hypomania is rare (I'm not really cyclothymic), and does not occur without the meds. I've been solid on my meds for years, so it's not a matter of screwing around with them. I'm not sure what brought all this on.
The hypomanic periods, when they do occur, often produce a lot of interest in life-changing activities, or just a general change of situation. Often this results in some really good ideas once I come back to reality -- not as grandiose or wild as I imagined, but a scaled-back version of my flights of fancy. This time was no exception.
My fantasy followed a familiar theme for me: Chuck it all, fuck the world and live life as a gypsy (see my previous entry). I realize now that, for better or worse, I can't do that. I've wrapped too many chains around me to escape. But I am now looking at trying to put together something like this, on a smaller scale.
I'm hoping to arrange a 1 year sabbatical some time after my son goes off to school (Fall, 2008). During the course of the year, I would travel across the 48 contiguous states (and possibly Alaska and Hawaii), living in a motorhome and taking pictures, collecting stories, and keeping a journal as I go. The end result would be a gallery show and coffee-table book (or perhaps some other form of publication). I would do this in 4 loops starting from here in Missouri -- one for each season (Southeast in winter, Southwest in spring, Northwest in summer and Northeast in fall). I'd hit cities, small towns, wilderness, national parks, indian reservations, and anything else I can find -- a varied look at our country. I'm hoping to get some funding for this, either an arts grant, or perhaps the interest of some governmental or quasi-governmental agency or major publication (e.g., Smithsonian, National Geographic, etc.). I suspect the total cost will be something on the order of $150-250k, so if I'm going to do it on this scale I'll need some funding. If I don't get it, I may still do something similar, but on a smaller scale (maybe I can partially fund it shooting SG sets as I go...
). To start with, as a proof-of-concept and to have something to show grant agencies, I intend to do a number of 3-day trips through Missouri to produce the same sort of show/book. This would be self-funded.
So... whatcha think? How crazy am I? Would you buy a book like that (or want to receive it as a gift)? Would you go see that gallery show if it was near you? So far I'm still pretty jacked up about it. Even my wife thinks it's a good idea!
Here are some pictures that might appear in something like this (these are from earlier trips or assignments):
The hypomanic periods, when they do occur, often produce a lot of interest in life-changing activities, or just a general change of situation. Often this results in some really good ideas once I come back to reality -- not as grandiose or wild as I imagined, but a scaled-back version of my flights of fancy. This time was no exception.
My fantasy followed a familiar theme for me: Chuck it all, fuck the world and live life as a gypsy (see my previous entry). I realize now that, for better or worse, I can't do that. I've wrapped too many chains around me to escape. But I am now looking at trying to put together something like this, on a smaller scale.
I'm hoping to arrange a 1 year sabbatical some time after my son goes off to school (Fall, 2008). During the course of the year, I would travel across the 48 contiguous states (and possibly Alaska and Hawaii), living in a motorhome and taking pictures, collecting stories, and keeping a journal as I go. The end result would be a gallery show and coffee-table book (or perhaps some other form of publication). I would do this in 4 loops starting from here in Missouri -- one for each season (Southeast in winter, Southwest in spring, Northwest in summer and Northeast in fall). I'd hit cities, small towns, wilderness, national parks, indian reservations, and anything else I can find -- a varied look at our country. I'm hoping to get some funding for this, either an arts grant, or perhaps the interest of some governmental or quasi-governmental agency or major publication (e.g., Smithsonian, National Geographic, etc.). I suspect the total cost will be something on the order of $150-250k, so if I'm going to do it on this scale I'll need some funding. If I don't get it, I may still do something similar, but on a smaller scale (maybe I can partially fund it shooting SG sets as I go...
). To start with, as a proof-of-concept and to have something to show grant agencies, I intend to do a number of 3-day trips through Missouri to produce the same sort of show/book. This would be self-funded.
So... whatcha think? How crazy am I? Would you buy a book like that (or want to receive it as a gift)? Would you go see that gallery show if it was near you? So far I'm still pretty jacked up about it. Even my wife thinks it's a good idea!
Here are some pictures that might appear in something like this (these are from earlier trips or assignments):
Keep on keeping on dude. You're the most creative person I've met on here.
Sorry the depression snuck up on you like that. Funny how the world works. Seems we both have been ambushed by our heads as of late.