troglodyte

I am too alone in the world, but not alone enough
to make every minute holy
I am too small in the world, but not small enough
Just to stand before you like a thing,
Dark and shrewd
I want my will, and I want to be with my will
as it moves toward action;
And in those quiet, somehow hesitating times,
When something is approaching,
I want to be with those who are wise
Or else alone.
I want always to be a mirror that reflects your whole being,
and never be too blind or too old
to hold your heavy, swaying image.
I want to unfold.
nowhere do I want to remain folded,
because where I am bent and folded, there I am a lie.
And I want my meaning
true for you. I want to describe myself
like a painting that I studied
closely for a long time,
like a word I finally understood,
like the pitcher I use every day,
like the face of my mother,
like a ship
that carried me
through the wildest storm of all.