Thursday Mar 10, 2005

0
Can you tell whats on my mind
Shes with him its driving me wild
Id like to hit him on the head until hes dead
The sight of blood is such a high
Ooooohhhh
He gives me head

We made it on a ballroom blitz
I took his arms and kissed his lips
He looked at me with such a smile my face turned red
We booked a room into the ritz
Ooooohhhh
He gives me head

Jet boy jet girl
Im gonna take you round the world
Jet boy Im gonna make you penetrate
Im gonna make you be a girl
Ooooohhhh
Jet boy jet girl

....

--Jet Boy Jet Girl by The Damned

That song still makes me smile. I haven't heard it for years, but the energy of it still resonates with me.

As I've belaboured in many a journal past, I grew up sexually ambiguous: ambiguous in my gender image and ambiguous in my attractions. It's only in the past few drugfree years that I've felt truly comfortable in this female flesh. Mentally I think I will always be an androgyne, and my attractions spill over to me from both sexes. There have been two big loves in my past: one a woman and the other a man. Neither went well.

Do you remember when you first knew your sexual identity? Was there no separate moment? Was it an always knowing? Was there conflict? Whatever you feel you want to share, I'd be happy to hear. smile
VIEW 10 of 10 COMMENTS
kay:
I have always been extremely sexual. I live and breathe it, and have since I was a child. I started fantasizing at a very early age about sex, S&M, and a variety of things on that vein. I started writing full out erotica when I was in grade school, which was found by my parents and I was promptly punished for it. I stopped writing it for the most part, and by my teen years, never even thought about it. It must still be hidden where I left it so my parents would not find it. I wonder who will find it and what they will think. Hrm. I am a porn movie waiting to happen. wink I have never questioned my sexuality. I have slept with women a few times, and while I do not mind simple groping and kissing, anything beyond that is not interesting to me.

~cheers
waldo_____:
Any gender identity questions got sort of lost in a suspicion that male sexuality was inherently violent, which did me no good at all. I still have flashes of that, sometimes.

More Blogs