trixel

"Do you ever get that feeling
That something can be done
To eradicate this problem
And make the people one
Do you ever get that feeling
Something like a nagging itch
And all the while the doctors
Stitch and stitch and stitch
And stitch and stitch

Hope alone won't remove the stains
Shame."

-Shame by Depeche Mode

I'm walking dead again, about one full night's sleep the past two days. It's '80s week for me with lyrics. I remember loving this song, off Construction Time Again.

I'm not guilty of genocide or hatred or greed or any of those ugly inclinations one should be ashamed of. I am guilty of being unable or unwilling to control my carnal desires. I keep telling myself that I will try monogamy, that I'm mature enough to handle that idea. It all goes swimmingly until the first day when my libido overwhelms me and I do something impulsive.

I'm sure you're all sick of hearing of my latest lascivious moment. Suffice it to say that if I was a catholic, I'd be going to do some major confessing tomorrow. Mea culpa. Mea maxima culpa.

The really sad part is even my guilt is tinged with lust.

I must sleep. Tomorrow I have an interview for a supervisorial position at work. I do love to give people orders...

Night all of you.