"You ask what is this?
Mind your business
It's too good, it's too nice
She makes me feel it's too quick
Is it love? No not love
She turns my sexual tricks
She says she's mine, I know she lies
First, I scream, then I cry
Take a second of me
You beckon, I'll bleed
Take a second of me"
-Suffocated Love by Tricky
Maxinquaye by Tricky makes my top ten list of albums to fuck to. It's dark, rapacious sexy though. Barry White, it ain't.
I'm bisexual. People question me: don't you need to sleep with both sexes? I'm not sure that I require female AND male sexual interaction at all times in my life, but I sure like it.
People perceive this to be the major stumbling block to monogamy for bisexuals. I disagree. I think the biggest stumbling block to happiness in a monogamous relationship for anyone is the feeling of being owned and devoured. And not in a nice way 
So, polyamory or monogamy? This is a question I've wrestled with for many years. My sex drive is phenomenal and just seems to be getting more unmanageable as the years pass. I will be the pinup senior citizen pervert chick one day.
My eight year relationship with K was completely open. I slept with any man or woman who took my fancy. He slept with any woman he wanted. We'd often go out for the night, and bump into each other halfway through. We'd laugh, flirt, kiss and continue on with our separate evenings. I knew that he was there for me when I needed him. That was all I needed to know.
We tried to be as open and respectful of our outside interests as possible. I loved many of them. K and I told each other everything. This type of relationship needs complete transparency. Yes, there were moments when I felt torn. There were also moments when I felt my way of loving was a source of anger to outsiders.
We were jealous of each other at times, but these did not last. I knew a few of the women K slept with and came to call them friends. Once, we both fancied the same girl and she chose me. He didn't have a chance: she was gay.
K resented me a little: it's much easier to be free and easy with men. Frequently women assumed that he was cheating on poor lil ole me. *laugh*
We had all of these interests, sexual and otherwise, outside of the relationship. I loved K greatly. There was interest inside the relationship too. With all of this, the relationship still turned into a suffocating, sad trap.
Which leads me to monogamy.
How does one keep excitement, respect and independence in a monogamous relationship? How does one maintain a separate identity and not get swallowed?
I've spent most of my life running from the bonds of commitment. Hell I've been engaged three ridiculous times. Obviously I'm fascinated by the idea of one person, just skeptical of its successful implementation.
I've decided that the only way I'm ever going to venture into monogamy is if I have a defined role, a role which stops me from becoming an amorphous part of the other. I want to be with someone but still be a separate entity. I need to find the balance and meaning that comes from dancing through life with another. To this end, I've been exploring consensual slavery as a lifestyle. I'll let you know how that works out.
*looks up* Another long droning journal entry.
Oh, and as a completely unrelated aside, I had my first ever simultaneous clitoral and g-spot orgasm tonight. It lasted over a minute (or so it seemed) and I couldn't open my eyes.
Sisters: fingers don't do the trick; I highly recommend investing in a gspot toy.
Mind your business
It's too good, it's too nice
She makes me feel it's too quick
Is it love? No not love
She turns my sexual tricks
She says she's mine, I know she lies
First, I scream, then I cry
Take a second of me
You beckon, I'll bleed
Take a second of me"
-Suffocated Love by Tricky
Maxinquaye by Tricky makes my top ten list of albums to fuck to. It's dark, rapacious sexy though. Barry White, it ain't.
I'm bisexual. People question me: don't you need to sleep with both sexes? I'm not sure that I require female AND male sexual interaction at all times in my life, but I sure like it.
People perceive this to be the major stumbling block to monogamy for bisexuals. I disagree. I think the biggest stumbling block to happiness in a monogamous relationship for anyone is the feeling of being owned and devoured. And not in a nice way
So, polyamory or monogamy? This is a question I've wrestled with for many years. My sex drive is phenomenal and just seems to be getting more unmanageable as the years pass. I will be the pinup senior citizen pervert chick one day.
My eight year relationship with K was completely open. I slept with any man or woman who took my fancy. He slept with any woman he wanted. We'd often go out for the night, and bump into each other halfway through. We'd laugh, flirt, kiss and continue on with our separate evenings. I knew that he was there for me when I needed him. That was all I needed to know.
We tried to be as open and respectful of our outside interests as possible. I loved many of them. K and I told each other everything. This type of relationship needs complete transparency. Yes, there were moments when I felt torn. There were also moments when I felt my way of loving was a source of anger to outsiders.
We were jealous of each other at times, but these did not last. I knew a few of the women K slept with and came to call them friends. Once, we both fancied the same girl and she chose me. He didn't have a chance: she was gay.
K resented me a little: it's much easier to be free and easy with men. Frequently women assumed that he was cheating on poor lil ole me. *laugh*
We had all of these interests, sexual and otherwise, outside of the relationship. I loved K greatly. There was interest inside the relationship too. With all of this, the relationship still turned into a suffocating, sad trap.
Which leads me to monogamy.
How does one keep excitement, respect and independence in a monogamous relationship? How does one maintain a separate identity and not get swallowed?
I've spent most of my life running from the bonds of commitment. Hell I've been engaged three ridiculous times. Obviously I'm fascinated by the idea of one person, just skeptical of its successful implementation.
I've decided that the only way I'm ever going to venture into monogamy is if I have a defined role, a role which stops me from becoming an amorphous part of the other. I want to be with someone but still be a separate entity. I need to find the balance and meaning that comes from dancing through life with another. To this end, I've been exploring consensual slavery as a lifestyle. I'll let you know how that works out.
*looks up* Another long droning journal entry.
Oh, and as a completely unrelated aside, I had my first ever simultaneous clitoral and g-spot orgasm tonight. It lasted over a minute (or so it seemed) and I couldn't open my eyes.
Sisters: fingers don't do the trick; I highly recommend investing in a gspot toy.
VIEW 27 of 27 COMMENTS
hmm...not really, i just really know what makes me happier and how I like to spend my spare time. mptorbiking calms me down, it takes my mind away from petty things.
this said, yeah, i love metal curved with passion, stories behind the why and who and how's of the bikes, I used to really love putting my leathers on, leaving the house early, start the bike and waking up the neighbours (ahahha), but i don't like bikers that much, i'm very, very specific about people i ride with...What an ass you must think :-)
maybe i'm a fetishist altho doing all that never gave me a hard-on...
Marc Almond stuff is sometimes great, and sometimes he's far too torchy for my taste. But he's great, good fun.
relationships....it's very hard to define exactly if it's something you want or not. somehow, you WANT to live with him, and by holding him close it will destroy your passion. We are strange animals, we have urges and clocks, and society's grips and our own desires and fears and in the middle of all that we're supposed to find stimuli ? don't listen to me, i'm only on my first cup of morning coffee
tlc from jjs III