It is one a.m. I just came home from Instinct, a gay bar in Cork, where they celebrated the end of the Pride week in Cork. I have never been at a gay bar before - except for this one time when I was already entangled with one of the guys in the company - and I met this gorgeous brown-eyed Canadian girl named Christine...
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It's been a long time now.
I've settled down pretty well in Cork by now. The fligths went well, I arrived in Cork twelve exhausting hours after I got up, and was welcomed by hugs and beer and having been forgotten by my employers and left to do the education pretty much on my own.
Despite this things could have been much worse. Kristina, the...
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I've settled down pretty well in Cork by now. The fligths went well, I arrived in Cork twelve exhausting hours after I got up, and was welcomed by hugs and beer and having been forgotten by my employers and left to do the education pretty much on my own.
Despite this things could have been much worse. Kristina, the...
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the_libertine:
I'm glad that you're settling in well! and I'm thrilled to hear that you've got friends in town that you can connect with and relate to and count on... bonus points awarded for living with them 
I was at a place called O'Reagan's last night and a crew of I don't know what's strolled in and sidled up to the bar and ordered. A few minutes later, I'm thinking of you and wishing we could connect at that moment because these blokes? they were from Cork.
I was like, "TAKE ME BACK WITH YOU!!"
And yes, you can say "broad-shouldered"
it's a good compound word.
I was at a place called O'Reagan's last night and a crew of I don't know what's strolled in and sidled up to the bar and ordered. A few minutes later, I'm thinking of you and wishing we could connect at that moment because these blokes? they were from Cork.
I was like, "TAKE ME BACK WITH YOU!!"
And yes, you can say "broad-shouldered"
it's a good compound word.All right, my darling. I hope to hear from you again soon!
Tomorrow is the big day. My flight leaves from Copenhagen at nine o'clock tomorrow, forcing me to leave at the ungodly hour four-thirty in the morning. Somebody might just as well have smacked me over the head with a sledge hammer. On top of that I have not been on a plane since I was fourteen- and never ever by myself - and I am...
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the_libertine:
You're almost there! I can't wait to hear from you again. missing you terribly.
The last week or so I have been getting emaills from people wondering how things are going for me. Although touched by all the concern aimed my way I lack the time to reply to all the emails so I thought I would save some time and write everything here instead.
Things have been running smooth up until now. I left Norway by train (going...
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Things have been running smooth up until now. I left Norway by train (going...
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With less than fourty-eight hours left in this country, I am surprisingly dumbfounded on how to spend them. I left work at one, after having signed the papers and shook hand with Magnus one last time leaving them just in time for the Monday meeting, and ended up in a bakery on Bogstadveien.
I have been complaining about my work for weeks. I thought quitting...
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the_libertine:
Change is a funny thing.
Stop me if I'm wrong (which is funny cause I'm writing this as a post. ) but I think that feeling a measure of melancholy is completely normal and to be expected. While you are going to a new and wonderful place for an amazing reason, you're still leaving where you are to get there. And from the way you've been talking about the last little while, the final few moments, you are leaving something behind to go to that somewhere new. You made a home where you are... even for a few moments.
Quitting doesn't make you a loser, or a failure or, oddly enough, a quitter. it just means that you wanted something else, something more, something new. you wanted... and still want, I believe... a change. but change is a curious thing, it doesn't come without loss... something can't be created without sacrifice... without loss, no matter how minute. so, that feeling that you're enduring... that is running through your veins is simply evidence that to some important part of you, your life there mattered. and that's wonderful.
Change is a funny thing, darling. sometimes it throws of things we never expect, like a feeling of loss at leaving something we might had planned to leave all along.
I hope you're ok.
xx
Stop me if I'm wrong (which is funny cause I'm writing this as a post.
) but I think that feeling a measure of melancholy is completely normal and to be expected. While you are going to a new and wonderful place for an amazing reason, you're still leaving where you are to get there. And from the way you've been talking about the last little while, the final few moments, you are leaving something behind to go to that somewhere new. You made a home where you are... even for a few moments. Quitting doesn't make you a loser, or a failure or, oddly enough, a quitter. it just means that you wanted something else, something more, something new. you wanted... and still want, I believe... a change. but change is a curious thing, it doesn't come without loss... something can't be created without sacrifice... without loss, no matter how minute. so, that feeling that you're enduring... that is running through your veins is simply evidence that to some important part of you, your life there mattered. and that's wonderful.
Change is a funny thing, darling. sometimes it throws of things we never expect, like a feeling of loss at leaving something we might had planned to leave all along.
I hope you're ok.
xx
You know you are starting to grow up when people around you complain about not having a job for the summer and ask you if you have any contacts to fix it - and you do.
This insight struck me today when my something-like-boyfriend asked me if I had any suggestions for his bread earning activities in the summer. Without thinking too hard I could...
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This insight struck me today when my something-like-boyfriend asked me if I had any suggestions for his bread earning activities in the summer. Without thinking too hard I could...
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the_libertine:
Your post was very touching for me... it really resonated on so many different levels. I think that as much as we are loathe to be our parents... we naturally inherit, absorb and learn many of their traits... we are children of them... and that carries a lot of power. they created us... still, we make our own choices and learn in our own ways... I just find it interesting that your experience mirrors my own... as a child, i wanted to be like them, helping people to face their fears, helping them to grow stronger for having seen the darker sides of themselves and survived the experience... as an adolescent, I rebelled and did everything in my power to not be like them... I became selfish, self-absorbed, self-deluded... a lot of self words... and now, as an adult (which didn't happen at 21 despite what the laws in my country say) I discover that I'm on that same path that I abandoned... I'm not a social worker... not by any means... but my craft was chosen to help show the world that which they might not seek to see in order to heal those wounds that lie waiting to paralyze us later...
I, too, had a mother that astounded me. She has four kids (one with special needs) and a husband who believed that helping meant paying bills and nothing more. She went to university (paying her own way), raised the four of us, worked a full time job and has multiple masters degrees. I'm working on ONE and find it a daily challenge. I wonder constantly if I can ever live up to that legacy... but then I remember, that I'm a child of her work. her child. a favorite son. and I remember that she gave me the most important advice I've ever had... she said to me, "you can do anything you want." and she was right.
I'm still looking for that "I'm fully grown up" moment... I don't think it will ever come... I'm 30... chasing 31 in a few months and wondering if I'll find that wife... buy that house... have that life... I'm not sure that white picket fences are in my future but I know that whatever happens, I'll be living my life... living it happily... and thanking my mom for saying, "you can do anything." because I know that I can.
And, Tristane, you can too.
I, too, had a mother that astounded me. She has four kids (one with special needs) and a husband who believed that helping meant paying bills and nothing more. She went to university (paying her own way), raised the four of us, worked a full time job and has multiple masters degrees. I'm working on ONE and find it a daily challenge. I wonder constantly if I can ever live up to that legacy... but then I remember, that I'm a child of her work. her child. a favorite son. and I remember that she gave me the most important advice I've ever had... she said to me, "you can do anything you want." and she was right.
I'm still looking for that "I'm fully grown up" moment... I don't think it will ever come... I'm 30... chasing 31 in a few months and wondering if I'll find that wife... buy that house... have that life... I'm not sure that white picket fences are in my future but I know that whatever happens, I'll be living my life... living it happily... and thanking my mom for saying, "you can do anything." because I know that I can.
And, Tristane, you can too.
In writing that first post I didn't know it would be a blog entry. I had just created my account and the title said "Introduce yourself to the Suicide Community!". I thought it was some entry for the profile, so I wrote some semi coherent stuff about how I was introduced to SG for the first time, thinking I could change it later on.
Boy,...
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Boy,...
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I was first introduced to the Suicide Girls community from my former boyfriend more than six years ago. He was twenty, I was seventeen and had just started to realize that this "alternative" community really existed and that I could be a part of it as well. Looking through the SG pictures I was beside myself! From that moment on I was determined on becoming...
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the_libertine:
Welcome to the SG community!
What kind of engineer are you working towards becoming?
And what martial arts are you into?
Take care!
What kind of engineer are you working towards becoming?
And what martial arts are you into?
Take care!
phallen:
Welcome to SG! Hope you have fun here!
I was first introduced to the Suicide Girls community from my former boyfriend more than six years ago. He was twenty, I was seventeen and had just started to realize that this "alternative" community really existed and that I could be a part of it as well. Looking through the SG pictures I was beside myself! From that moment on I was determined on becoming...
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I miss you too, darling!