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trickynicki

Canton, currently Columbus

Member Since 2007

Followers 90 Following 110

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Sunday Jan 06, 2008

Jan 6, 2008
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Ok, I feel like that last one was just way too girly and needy for me. And no, I am not dating the person I mentioned. I always called him "my perfection." He is motivated and smart and gorgeous and tells me I'm beautiful. He's originally from Canton and moved down here so he just understands everything I say, even if he is a damn republican haha. We have always been friends w/ benefits. We don't see each other much but good Lord, when we do, fireworks. I mean we basically just worship each other. I can't say anything else other than he is perfect. I just feel like I have fewer and fewer people in my proximity so it hurt that another is leaving and it hurt b/c I care for him so much and it just shocked me when I started bawling about it. Anyways

The rest of this isn't going to be much happier, I'd stop reading if you're having a good day. I do promise a funny picture to close as always at least. I feel like I'm losing one of my best friends, like we are just slipping into that casual friendship thing. I hate it. I am debating whether or not it's worth writing this but it hurts. Maybe I'm just upset that he doesn't need me or seem to even want my help anymore. Maybe I'm jealous. I feel replaced or 3rd-wheelish even. Yeah, I love groups of people and I love when all my different friends get along but I would like personal time too. I just realized how blatantly obvious I made it as to who I am referring to. I'm going to stop. I'm not mad at anyone, I actually love them more than pretty much anything I've ever known, it all just sucks, ya know?

School started. My books were supposed to cost $450 this quarter. Thanks to amazon I cut that down to about $300 and I decided not to even buy my anthropology book. $100 is just too much and I can make copies of what I need. Guess that means I better actually attend lectures. I think I got the last of what I needed with Mia and Ash today. I've been trying to do a lot with Mia b/c her Grandpa died and she was as fond of him as I was of my grandfathers so I know she is hurting and trying her damnedest to cover it up.

I am going gray on the 10th.

SPOILERS! (Click to view)
I thought about it and I wanted to renew but I just can't afford it right now. Maybe they will email me some special offer or something and I will, but my books broke me, as usual. I hate always bitching about money. So incase I'm not around, add me to your myspace, AIM, whatev. Most of you are terrific, wonderful people who I sincerely hope I still get to see and talk to. A few of you are fake, clueless, attention whores who will do anything if a camera is around. No one cares about your wannabe lesbianism or how you think people are just intimidated by you. They aren't, they just don't like you b/c you aren't as cool as you think you are. However, you're still better than the truly hurtful people who start cliques, resort to violence, or hold ridiculous, bitter grudges.

ohash, DevilsReject, Meow, knuckles_13, Copper, gdon, hkwench, Tempest, BrightRedScream, nikonphoto80... you guys have truly earned my respect and thank you for being so wonderful to me, even in the littlest ways. I have seen or read that you are facing some terrible things and you never take it out on others. You have the most beautiful hearts. That's so much more than just me liking you, that means I like who you are as a person and I think you are admirable no matter what. Thank you for everything. Sam, Cory, SynDigital, candykyd, RagingMag, Avi, Dika, Fauna, Oz, Mike, Katie, Mneylu, Chrystal, etc etc you're all giant sweethearts so thank you for everything as well. I am sure I have missed ppl, please don't be offended, but I just really needed to tell that 1st group what great ppl they are.



Ok let me try to think of something cheerful. I really like the nail polish color I came up with tonight. It's black or the darkest blue possible but its a shiny iridescent blue in the light. The tattoo is all healed and the kitty is adjusting well. We were napping today and her paw was in my hand when I woke up, it was so cute.



American Gladiators premiered tonight and the I Love NY 2 Reunion was on so that made me feel much better. Mr. Wise is the sexiest thing alive. Seriously, he's my boy. I met Carl's son last week too, he's a cutie. He yelled at Carl for not making me dinner haha. I wish things were simpler in life in general. K, bye

VIEW 15 of 15 COMMENTS
thegreatestfall:
hey thanks for the love smile Yeah hopefully I will feel better by Thursday I would hate to show up sick lol
Jan 11, 2008
thegreatestfall:
ha ha ha deal. I will be there most likely. I need to meet new people and that is hard to do when you don't go out lol
Jan 11, 2008

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