Jesus FUCKING Christ
You know the drill... We need some tune-age for your blog reading pleasure:
This song reminds me of the last time me and my dude rolled on some molly and banged all...damn..night. LOL Deal with it. It's a fucking rad song! And it makes me dance super nasty.
Alyways... So I have kind of a lot to fill you in on considering I haven't written a fucking blog in like a month. Damn I suck. Sorry guys!!!
Religion? OVER IT!
So you may remember a few months back, I made an attempt at re-entering the world of christianity in an attempt to find some structure in my life and make some new friends. Ummmm...... BIG MISTAKE! *forehead smack* I really made a legitimate attempt! Like, seriously! I think part of me just wanted to believe in something, anything, that would help pull me out of the depression I was suffering from at the time.
And what happened, you ask?
Oh, just met a bunch of assholes (like I kinda knew I would) who were absurdly judgmental (which I kinda knew they would be) who stalked my Facebook page and and questioned my relationship with my boyfriend, my foul language, and my tattoos (which, surprise, I kinda knew they would).
So, I deleted them all from Facebook, stopped showing up at their Nazi meetings, and haven't looked back.
I'm much happier now.
There is no denying science for me and as much as I wanted to have faith in something, I can't trick my brain into blind faith. I don't function that way. So, peace out, chumps! Thanks for nothin but stress!
I work out!
Yes, it's finally true! My mom paid for me to join her gym so that we could work out together and I'm so much happier for it! I've been putting in a minimum of 4 hours a week there and have lost about 8 pounds already and can feel myself getting more fit. To be honest, I'm not looking to drop a whole lot of weight, but I'd like to get back to 120lbs (I'm ABOUT 132 at the moment). I'd be content there. And I wanna tone up big time! So, I'm stoked that I'm already making a lot of progress and that I'm feeling so much better and having more energy during the day and sleeping better at night. And it's been enough for my man to notice and his reaction has been really nice.
Anyways, maybe once I get into the shape I want to be, I'll give the whole modeling thing another go. I've been getting lots of emails outside of SG about some gigs, I just don't feel 100% confident in my bod at the moment. The photogs seem to be pleased with it, but... I don't care what they like, to be honest. Haha! So, I'm about to work my ass off!
Me my first day back at the gym..
Speaking of himmm..
Things are going so so so good with Jesse! He has still been really super duper busy with work, but he's been so good about sending me sweet texts during the day to say hi and remind me that I'm loved, which I think is fantastic. lol
Old picture with quote from a phone convo a couple weeks ago...
oh my fuck he's so cute.. Him on his bday.
we had sushi and fried cheesecake. THis is what fried cheesecake looks like. Gone.
What me and Jesse's date nights look like:
And some of this: (me waiting for him to get out of the shower. lol)
PLUS!
We are OFFICIALLY going to be driving up to Seattle for CHristmas to be with his family. I don't know if I've ever mentioned that he's 1 of 10 kids
and he has 2 daughters that live up there with their scumbag mom (which we are working on that, don't worry). SOOO for Christmas, I think like 7 of his 9 siblings, his 6 nieces and nephews, his daughters, and his parents will all be at his sister's new house. We've been trying to plan a trip up there, but it's hard to get his whole family together like that. So, his mom suggested we come for Christmas since they're (mostly) all be together. And since plane tickets are ABSURDLY expensive during the holidays, we decided to rent a car and road trip it up there! We will be leaving the Saturday before Christmas and staying until the day after.
I am craaaaazy excited about it, but super nervous too. I've only met one of his younger sisters and she was awesome! But, I've got to meet the rest of his family, his parents, AND his little girls. He swears they'll love me and want to keep me (lol) but you know how I worry.
Plus, I come from and extremely small family so it'll be a new experience for me. lol
One thing DO know, is I need some warm clothes because all I have, literally, is hoodies because DUH! I'm a Cali kid. And it's going to be SUUUUUPER cold. Haha! Dammit. Anyone feeling generous who has an extra legit winter coat? Hmmm maybe I should update my wishlist. I kid I kid..
I'm about 99% positive I'm getting the best X-mas gift ever, BTW..
So, my plan (because my mom says I need to) is to be moved out on my own by the end of January 2013. So, my mom has been helping me tuck a little money away, per paycheck, so save for a deposit and such. Jesse isn't going to be quite ready to get a place yet by then (for financial reasons and some hold ups with his job and his business partner that I can't really explain to you for privacy reasons) but our plan is to have a place by next summer so that we can bring his little girls down here to stay for a few weeks while they are out of school. But anyways, I'll find a little place to sign a 6 month lease for... I have been looking at little guest homes on people's property to rent because a) I hate apartments and never want to live in one again b) it'd be a lot more private and quiet c) it'd be on land, which I love d) I like dealing with individuals more than property management companies because I like having a more personal relationship with the people I'm giving money to and e) its usually way cheaper. I have found a few really awesome little places that I'm really hoping are still around when I need it!
ANYWAYS, I kind of refuse to move into a place all by myself without the proper protection. And Jesse is sort of uneasy about it as well. So, he says he's gonna buy me my first handgun for Christmas! Eeeeee! I am soooo excited. He really wants to get me a Colt, I'm sort of partial to Beretta... but we'll see. We have a few really awesome shops nearby that sell second hand guns so we may go scope them out together. He wants to get me something light, I personally like heavy guns... We'll see! I'm just completely stoked. You have no idea.
Old pics but I love em!
Quick rant
....meh.... I had a rant, but I decided this may not be the best forum for it. It's about fake bitches and how sick of them I am and how I've been deleting a lot because I'm sick of their mindless dribble..
I feel like ranting right now might put me in an icky mood too and I don't feel like that right now. LOL
Picture Fun! Spoilered for your pleasure..
lots of randomness... Prepare yourself. lol
You know the drill... We need some tune-age for your blog reading pleasure:
This song reminds me of the last time me and my dude rolled on some molly and banged all...damn..night. LOL Deal with it. It's a fucking rad song! And it makes me dance super nasty.
Alyways... So I have kind of a lot to fill you in on considering I haven't written a fucking blog in like a month. Damn I suck. Sorry guys!!!
Religion? OVER IT!
So you may remember a few months back, I made an attempt at re-entering the world of christianity in an attempt to find some structure in my life and make some new friends. Ummmm...... BIG MISTAKE! *forehead smack* I really made a legitimate attempt! Like, seriously! I think part of me just wanted to believe in something, anything, that would help pull me out of the depression I was suffering from at the time.
And what happened, you ask?
Oh, just met a bunch of assholes (like I kinda knew I would) who were absurdly judgmental (which I kinda knew they would be) who stalked my Facebook page and and questioned my relationship with my boyfriend, my foul language, and my tattoos (which, surprise, I kinda knew they would).
So, I deleted them all from Facebook, stopped showing up at their Nazi meetings, and haven't looked back.I'm much happier now.
There is no denying science for me and as much as I wanted to have faith in something, I can't trick my brain into blind faith. I don't function that way. So, peace out, chumps! Thanks for nothin but stress!
I work out!
Yes, it's finally true! My mom paid for me to join her gym so that we could work out together and I'm so much happier for it! I've been putting in a minimum of 4 hours a week there and have lost about 8 pounds already and can feel myself getting more fit. To be honest, I'm not looking to drop a whole lot of weight, but I'd like to get back to 120lbs (I'm ABOUT 132 at the moment). I'd be content there. And I wanna tone up big time! So, I'm stoked that I'm already making a lot of progress and that I'm feeling so much better and having more energy during the day and sleeping better at night. And it's been enough for my man to notice and his reaction has been really nice.
Anyways, maybe once I get into the shape I want to be, I'll give the whole modeling thing another go. I've been getting lots of emails outside of SG about some gigs, I just don't feel 100% confident in my bod at the moment. The photogs seem to be pleased with it, but... I don't care what they like, to be honest. Haha! So, I'm about to work my ass off!
Me my first day back at the gym..
Speaking of himmm..
Things are going so so so good with Jesse! He has still been really super duper busy with work, but he's been so good about sending me sweet texts during the day to say hi and remind me that I'm loved, which I think is fantastic. lol
Old picture with quote from a phone convo a couple weeks ago...
oh my fuck he's so cute.. Him on his bday.
we had sushi and fried cheesecake. THis is what fried cheesecake looks like. Gone.
What me and Jesse's date nights look like:
And some of this: (me waiting for him to get out of the shower. lol)
PLUS!
We are OFFICIALLY going to be driving up to Seattle for CHristmas to be with his family. I don't know if I've ever mentioned that he's 1 of 10 kids
and he has 2 daughters that live up there with their scumbag mom (which we are working on that, don't worry). SOOO for Christmas, I think like 7 of his 9 siblings, his 6 nieces and nephews, his daughters, and his parents will all be at his sister's new house. We've been trying to plan a trip up there, but it's hard to get his whole family together like that. So, his mom suggested we come for Christmas since they're (mostly) all be together. And since plane tickets are ABSURDLY expensive during the holidays, we decided to rent a car and road trip it up there! We will be leaving the Saturday before Christmas and staying until the day after.I am craaaaazy excited about it, but super nervous too. I've only met one of his younger sisters and she was awesome! But, I've got to meet the rest of his family, his parents, AND his little girls. He swears they'll love me and want to keep me (lol) but you know how I worry.
Plus, I come from and extremely small family so it'll be a new experience for me. lolOne thing DO know, is I need some warm clothes because all I have, literally, is hoodies because DUH! I'm a Cali kid. And it's going to be SUUUUUPER cold. Haha! Dammit. Anyone feeling generous who has an extra legit winter coat?
Hmmm maybe I should update my wishlist. I kid I kid..I'm about 99% positive I'm getting the best X-mas gift ever, BTW..
So, my plan (because my mom says I need to) is to be moved out on my own by the end of January 2013. So, my mom has been helping me tuck a little money away, per paycheck, so save for a deposit and such. Jesse isn't going to be quite ready to get a place yet by then (for financial reasons and some hold ups with his job and his business partner that I can't really explain to you for privacy reasons) but our plan is to have a place by next summer so that we can bring his little girls down here to stay for a few weeks while they are out of school. But anyways, I'll find a little place to sign a 6 month lease for... I have been looking at little guest homes on people's property to rent because a) I hate apartments and never want to live in one again b) it'd be a lot more private and quiet c) it'd be on land, which I love d) I like dealing with individuals more than property management companies because I like having a more personal relationship with the people I'm giving money to and e) its usually way cheaper. I have found a few really awesome little places that I'm really hoping are still around when I need it!
ANYWAYS, I kind of refuse to move into a place all by myself without the proper protection. And Jesse is sort of uneasy about it as well. So, he says he's gonna buy me my first handgun for Christmas! Eeeeee! I am soooo excited. He really wants to get me a Colt, I'm sort of partial to Beretta... but we'll see. We have a few really awesome shops nearby that sell second hand guns so we may go scope them out together. He wants to get me something light, I personally like heavy guns... We'll see! I'm just completely stoked. You have no idea.
Old pics but I love em!
Quick rant
....meh.... I had a rant, but I decided this may not be the best forum for it. It's about fake bitches and how sick of them I am and how I've been deleting a lot because I'm sick of their mindless dribble..
I feel like ranting right now might put me in an icky mood too and I don't feel like that right now. LOL
Picture Fun! Spoilered for your pleasure..
lots of randomness... Prepare yourself. lol
Aaaaaand boobs:
just fucking cuz
Anyways... that's my life these days! Work is good. The state hasn't arrested me for my fines yet because I am VERY slowly but surely taking care of them.. So, that's cool! OH! Me and Jesse have a pet snake now who is still unnamed. I'll have to take a pic this next weekend while I'm over there so you can see how cute he is! He's just a lil gopher snake but I think he's fabulous.
Overall, I'm pretty happy these days. Life isn't perfect, but I've learned my lesson about waiting for perfect. it never comes. So, I'm just surrounding myself with people I love and who love me and just going with the flow. It's working out fabulously so far! Hope you all are doing great!
Oh! Oh I forgot!!
Quick shout out!
There are 2 hopefuls in MR that I have fallen head over heels for and you KNOW I never give shout outs to people because not enough people read my blog anymore. But, if you haven't checked them out yet, you really should.
Mayaz in Electric Feel
Hloya in Elven Charm
So smokin hot... I can't even handle it.
Ok, NOW I'm outta here. I am getting to work at 5 am all the rest of this week to do OT to make more MONEY so yay! But I must get some sleep soon.... After I read everyone's blogs til my eyes fall out. LOL
Love you guys!
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Anyways, glad things are goin well with your guy and you. Always a good feeling : )
May luck and happiness eternally find you.