things that made me laugh in the last couple of days.
1) Nic using the term 'implausible rescue monkey' whilst sitting through the horror that is Mad Max 3. oh, and the fact that the term 'gulag' is employed when meaning, 'tied to horse with a large papier mache head mask on, riding to your doom in the cruel, cruel desert.'
2) reading a poppy z. brite story over Nic's shoulder and spotting a sentance in which the term 'sludgey plum wine' was used, to describe, amazingly, a wine made of plums that was sludgey-not semen. I shall from this day onward only refer to spunk as 'sludgey plum wine'.
3) drinking a can of red bull this moring and then thinking about ways to spice-up my life here at the office. I thought it might be a good idea to remove all the files from the accounts office top drawer of the filing cabinet, half fill it with water, put some coins in, and proclaim that it is a wishing cabinet. I also thought about putting an 'out of order sign' on everything in the entire bulding that has any kind of use. proably be most funny on pens, or staplers. although, watching my diabetic boss changing colour when he thinks the coffee machine may have stopped working would bring a smile to these weary lips. However, the knowledge that the boss' daughter is fat retard who is having sex with a drug addled ex-convict does to tend to warrant a wee chuckle now and then.
conclusions:
1) mad max 3 is shit/superb.
2)poppy z. brite shall be ridiculed by me even more than previously. id like to point out i have NEVER read any of her books. which means that my piss-taking is utterly unfounded. but it is funny. may she continue banging on about gay vampires covered in gore and semen.
3)drinking red bull turns you into a fun loving, office genius.
wait! THIS is funnier than anything. and scary.
1) Nic using the term 'implausible rescue monkey' whilst sitting through the horror that is Mad Max 3. oh, and the fact that the term 'gulag' is employed when meaning, 'tied to horse with a large papier mache head mask on, riding to your doom in the cruel, cruel desert.'
2) reading a poppy z. brite story over Nic's shoulder and spotting a sentance in which the term 'sludgey plum wine' was used, to describe, amazingly, a wine made of plums that was sludgey-not semen. I shall from this day onward only refer to spunk as 'sludgey plum wine'.
3) drinking a can of red bull this moring and then thinking about ways to spice-up my life here at the office. I thought it might be a good idea to remove all the files from the accounts office top drawer of the filing cabinet, half fill it with water, put some coins in, and proclaim that it is a wishing cabinet. I also thought about putting an 'out of order sign' on everything in the entire bulding that has any kind of use. proably be most funny on pens, or staplers. although, watching my diabetic boss changing colour when he thinks the coffee machine may have stopped working would bring a smile to these weary lips. However, the knowledge that the boss' daughter is fat retard who is having sex with a drug addled ex-convict does to tend to warrant a wee chuckle now and then.
conclusions:
1) mad max 3 is shit/superb.
2)poppy z. brite shall be ridiculed by me even more than previously. id like to point out i have NEVER read any of her books. which means that my piss-taking is utterly unfounded. but it is funny. may she continue banging on about gay vampires covered in gore and semen.
3)drinking red bull turns you into a fun loving, office genius.
wait! THIS is funnier than anything. and scary.
VIEW 25 of 36 COMMENTS
even superheroes have off days
[Edited on Jan 21, 2004 9:33AM]
and in being such, you are responsible for such friendly activities as helping me into alleys to pass out and loaning me basic cooking ingredients.
quiz time!
this week at the office did I:
a) get paid to watch a shot of a man's penis while he urinated.
b) request that they start stocking redbulls so I can be more like traumatron.
c) Answer the phone to find a girl orgasming on the other end.
d) Hassle poopydave about TPS reports because it never stops being funny.
e) all of the above.