traumatron

Gordon: HOLY SMOKES! WHO IS THAT?
Cooper: Shelly Johnson.
[Gordon motions he didn't here]
Cooper: SHELLY JOHNSON.
Gordon: WHAT A BEAUTY! KINDA REMINDS ME OF THAT STATUE, THE
BABE WITHOUT THE ARMS.
Cooper: Venus de Milo.
Gordon: THE NAME WAS MILO, BUT THAT'S BESIDE THE POINT.
THAT'S THE KIND OF GIRL THAT MAKES YOU WISH YOU
SPOKE A LITTLE FRENCH. 'SCUSE ME COOP WHILE I TRY
MY HAND AT A LITTLE COUNTER-ESPARANTO.
Gordon: Good luck, Gordon.
Gordon: HELLO. I WAS WONDERING IF I MIGHT TROUBLE YOU FOR A
CUP OF STRONG BLACK COFFEE AND IN THE PROCESS ENGAGE
YOU WITH AN ANECDOTE OF NO SMALL AMUSEMENT. THE
NAME IS GORDON COLE AND I COULDN'T HELP BUT NOTICE
YOU FROM THE BOOTH. AND .. WELL, SEEING YOUR BEAUTY
NOW I FEEL AS THOUGH MY STOMACH IS FILLED WITH A
TEAM OF BUMBLEBEES.
Shelly: You don't have to shout. I can hear you.
Gordon: I HEARD THAT. I, I HEARD THAT.
Shelly: Um, do you want anything besides coffee?
Gordon: I HEARD YOU PERFECTLY!
Shelly: And I can hear you, honest.
Gordon: YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND. You don't understand Miss
Johnson. Do you see this? For 20 years I've been asking
people to please speak up, but for some weird
reason I can hear you clear as a bell. Say
something else.
Shelly: Um, um, do you want pie with your coffee?
Gordon: Good Lord, I can hear you perfectly. This is like
some sort of miracle. A...a phenomenon.
LL: What's wrong with miracles?
Gordon: WHAT'S THAT?
LL: This cherry pie is a miracle.
Gordon: WOULD YOU PLEASE ASK THE LADY WITH THE LOG TO SPEAK
UP.
Shelly: Um, the pie, she was talking about the cherry pie.
Gordon: I heard you again. I heard you again.
Shelly: Would you like some pie?
Gordon: MASSIVE, MASSIVE QUANTITIES AND A GLASS OF WATER,
SWEETHEART. MY SOCKS ARE ON FIRE.