Yesterday was possibly the worst the day of my life, next to my uncle commiting suicide on my birthday last year and my grandpa dying months after.
I couldn't take one joke, and this girl at my work went up to me and chewed me out. She told me she had tried to be my friend and mess with me like she messes with everyone else and I get all sentimental. Told me never to talk to her again unless it was work-related. I tried to explain myself, but it fell on deaf ears. She told me I don't let anyone in and I take everything personally. My mom and dad told me the same thing when I got home and told them what happened. They told me I was a good person, but this bitch made me feel like I was the worst person in the world and looked at me like I shouldn't be on this earth. I don't have a sense of humor and most of the time, I'm not at work to fuck around, get over it. Last night just added a big block of sad to it. As much as it pains me to admit it, they're right. I isolate myself like that. I'm very afraid of being hurt and taken advantage of, because it's happened to me a lot. I don't want to be at that place working if I'm just going to make it a hostile environment to work in. I stood up crying til 1AM this morning, my eyes are bloodshot, I can't even make it to school, but i missed the last few sessions because of this class, so I'm dropping the summer class and transferring somewhere else.
I know in my heart I'm a good person, that's what my mom and dad and the few friends I have told me. But now, I don't know who I am anymore. It hurts. I wish people weren't so mean. That's reality, you can't be nice to anyone this day and age, the only way you can get your point across is by being mean and hateful towards them. I don't see life as one big carnival ride, all happy and shit. I'm happy i'm alive and all that, but I choose not to show it, and it irritates people. I won't change who I am for anyone, they can eat a dick and die for all I care.
This bitch won't run me out of this job no matter how rude and mean she is to me from now on. One already left after she tried to get me to quit. I can make this two in row, and still be looked at as the antichrist.
Life sucks when you're not at the level most people want you to be. I have no sense of humor, whenever I try to be funny, it pisses people off. I don't want sympathy, but I'm just saying how I feel about it.
time for the morning ritual...starbucks galore. What a goat fuck this day will be.
random me pic...
Me with one my bosses at work, he's a cool guy.
You know, maybe it's not that you don't have a sense of humor so much as maybe your humor differs from everyone else's. I have a friend who has really sarcastic, dry humor that pisses off everyone except the people that know him well enough to know he's joking.
Even if you don't have a sense of humor persay, that doesn't make you a bad person. Not everyone can be a comedian all the time, and there are some jokes out there that we can't help but take personally. That girl at your work sounds like she has no concept of how other people might feel and that maybe her jokes aren't so funny. I wouldn't worry about it if I were you. You sound like a nice guy to me