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tranquility

St. Louis, Missouri

Member Since 2004

Followers 2 Following 4

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Saturday Jan 01, 2005

Dec 31, 2004
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New years comes and goes....I don't get the same joy as I used to out of it. Finally out of the Army. It feels like the weight of the world has been lifted off of my shoulders. I can finally sleep and not worry about waking up early...the next work day...anything. I've missed so much sleep in the last four years of my life that I'm contemplating hibernation for a few weeks if not months. I seriously cannot begin to fathom how somebody could spend the greatest years of their life and make a career out of something like the military. It's even harder to imagine what it would be like to die for such a worthless cause. Then I think back to all the wars we've fought and wonder if any of them were worth it. Then I go even deeper and lose track of time thinking about why the world works the way it does.

Suddenly I snap back to reality and take comfort in the fact that none of this will matter eventually. In the end nothing matters. It's a deep, philosophical question of what's the meaning of life. Truly, I think it's up to every person to figure that out for themselves. Thankfully, I never got shipped to some sand box across the ocean to figure out that the meaning of my life was to die for some asshole's freedom....or was it weapons of mass destruction...or was it terrorism??? Either way, eventually nothing matters, and in a waaaay round of about way, that's comforting. I don't know why, but it is.

Then suddenly, my attention shifts and I begin to marvel at what Tyler Durden said in the movie Fight Club. "You are not special. You are not your khaki pants or your bank account." You know I totally agree with that movie. Wow, what about the Army made me think of this? Oh yeah, that whole meaning of life thing I was talking about.......

I think people in general tend to focus on the wrong things in life. We focus on money, work, our image....Believe me, I'm guilty of it too. I enjoy shopping at the best stores...I plan on trying to attain some high paying job so that I can blow money on entertaining myself with life's wonderful, yet usless things...

I don't know why we do the things we do. I can't even explain where I'm going on this tangent. I just know that there's a billion miles out there in this galaxy, and it seems like we as people missed the picture a long time ago on what's really important....

Back to hibernation to me...it's late and I'm tired. I wish u all a good year in 2005.

ps. dont join the military! oink oink

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