just becuase I think some of these are funny, they get a 2nd day in my journal, now Shawn you can't use the macho Italian guy voice for these...you have to use the feminine man voice with a lisp. actually scratch that....I want you to read it twice, once with macho Italian guy voice and once with feminine man voice with a lisp. yeah.....
WORST GAY PICK UP LINES
1. I wish you were a door so I could slam you all day long.
2. (As you lick your finger and wipe on his shirt?) Now, let's get you out of these wet clothes.
3. Nice ass? What time does it open?
4. Do you work for UPS? I thought I saw you checking out my package.
5. You've got 206 bones in your body. Would you like one more?
6. Can I buy you a drink or do you just want the money?
7. I may not be the best looking guy in here but I'm the only one talking to you.
8. I'm a bird watcher and I'm looking for a Big Cocked Bed Thrasher. Have you seen one?
9. Do you want to play army? I'll lie down and you can blow the hell out of me.
10. I wish you were a Pony Carousel outside of Wal-Mart so I could ride you all day long for a quarter.
11. Oh, I'm sorry. I thought that was a Braille nametag.
12. I'd really like to see how you look when I'm naked.
13. You might not be the best looking guy in here but beauty is only a light switch away.
14. You must be the limp doctor because I've got a stiffy.
15. I'd walk a million miles for one of your smiles and even farther for that little thing you do with your tongue.
16. If it's true that we are what eat, then I could be you by morning.
17. You know, if I were you, I'd have sex with me.
18. Fuck me if I'm wrong, but isnt your name Easy Bottom?
19. Those clothes would look great in a crumpled heap on my bedroom floor.
20. Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again?
21. Hi! I'm Mr. Right. Someone said you were looking for me.
22. My name is John. Remember that? Youll be screaming it later.
23. My friend wants to know if you think I'm cute.
24. My name isn't Elmo but you can tickle me anywhere you want to.
25. I know milk does a body good butDAMN! How much have you been drinking?
26. If you and I were the last men on earth, I'll bet we could do it in public.
27. Do you want to come over for some pizza and sex? No? Why? You don't like pizza?
28. Dude, I'm an American Express lover? You shouldn't go home without me.
29. Do you sleep on your stomach? No??? Can I?
30. Do you wash your dreams in Windex, because I can see myself in them.
and ...31. who speaks French and lokes blow jobs....MOI.
I feel yucky today...my stooopid monthy visitor is here making me feel fat/miserable/crampy and I'd leterly KILL for fudgy chocolate! I missed the sg show in Boston last night due to my pain & misery, not to mention the rain and having to work. I was going to fly outta work and head to the Middle East. that was the plan. tonight its in NorthHampton, I dunno, maybe I'll go maybe not. I've been looking forward to this for over a month, now I feel like a fat bloated crampy dishrag craving chocolate. and I hate driving in the rain at night especially in places I'm not very familiar with.
blah!
I think I need to read those pick up lines again...teeehee
WORST GAY PICK UP LINES
1. I wish you were a door so I could slam you all day long.
2. (As you lick your finger and wipe on his shirt?) Now, let's get you out of these wet clothes.
3. Nice ass? What time does it open?
4. Do you work for UPS? I thought I saw you checking out my package.
5. You've got 206 bones in your body. Would you like one more?
6. Can I buy you a drink or do you just want the money?
7. I may not be the best looking guy in here but I'm the only one talking to you.
8. I'm a bird watcher and I'm looking for a Big Cocked Bed Thrasher. Have you seen one?
9. Do you want to play army? I'll lie down and you can blow the hell out of me.
10. I wish you were a Pony Carousel outside of Wal-Mart so I could ride you all day long for a quarter.
11. Oh, I'm sorry. I thought that was a Braille nametag.
12. I'd really like to see how you look when I'm naked.
13. You might not be the best looking guy in here but beauty is only a light switch away.
14. You must be the limp doctor because I've got a stiffy.
15. I'd walk a million miles for one of your smiles and even farther for that little thing you do with your tongue.
16. If it's true that we are what eat, then I could be you by morning.
17. You know, if I were you, I'd have sex with me.
18. Fuck me if I'm wrong, but isnt your name Easy Bottom?
19. Those clothes would look great in a crumpled heap on my bedroom floor.
20. Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again?
21. Hi! I'm Mr. Right. Someone said you were looking for me.
22. My name is John. Remember that? Youll be screaming it later.
23. My friend wants to know if you think I'm cute.
24. My name isn't Elmo but you can tickle me anywhere you want to.
25. I know milk does a body good butDAMN! How much have you been drinking?
26. If you and I were the last men on earth, I'll bet we could do it in public.
27. Do you want to come over for some pizza and sex? No? Why? You don't like pizza?
28. Dude, I'm an American Express lover? You shouldn't go home without me.
29. Do you sleep on your stomach? No??? Can I?
30. Do you wash your dreams in Windex, because I can see myself in them.
and ...31. who speaks French and lokes blow jobs....MOI.
I feel yucky today...my stooopid monthy visitor is here making me feel fat/miserable/crampy and I'd leterly KILL for fudgy chocolate! I missed the sg show in Boston last night due to my pain & misery, not to mention the rain and having to work. I was going to fly outta work and head to the Middle East. that was the plan. tonight its in NorthHampton, I dunno, maybe I'll go maybe not. I've been looking forward to this for over a month, now I feel like a fat bloated crampy dishrag craving chocolate. and I hate driving in the rain at night especially in places I'm not very familiar with.
blah!
I think I need to read those pick up lines again...teeehee
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-TM