It's been a while and I thought what a fitting time to come back and write a blogpost than on World Mental Health Day! We all know I'm a strong advocate for positivity and talking about mental health and I'd like to come on and tell you more about where I've been.
A year ago my uncle got diagnosed with terminal brain cancer and it was a shock to all the family. He was a strong lad from North London, a builder, electrician, man of many talents, and one day he had a bad headache, the next day he was diagnosed with cancer. It was a whirlwind but we knew he was a fighter and he'd hang on for as long as he could, but as the year passed his condition deteriorated and the past few months he got worse every day. On Tuesday 8th October he passed with my mum and nan at his bedside. What happened in between diagnosis and now is too long to even explain but it feels like it passed so quickly at the same time. It also stirred up my health anxiety and I started to question my life, as we find ourselves doing when faced with death.
But I know he wouldn't want us to be sad, I know he would want me to smile and remember him for what he did, and the memories we had together. It's important when grieving to be kind to your mind, and the past few months I guess I grieved every day, knowing that it would be soon. I haven't really been shooting or working or doing anything as my mind was constantly preoccupied with what was going to happen and when and how and every time the phone rang I was worried it would be THE call.
I'm trying to be kinder to myself, and take care of me and my family, and do things that make me happy as I know he wouldn't want me moping around. I guess I don't know when I'll feel ok, but that's ok, I'll get there.
Thank you for the love and support I've recieved lately, even though you all were kinda kept out of the loop, but I didn't even really know if I wanted to say anything until now. I appreciate and love you all so much!
xx Tommy
@missy @rambo
