tinysharks

Coney Island

We hit Coney Island yesterday

It was around noon and I was 120 miles upstate when the phone wrang to come
I had a two hour bus ride and a half hour subway ride ahead of me
I hadnt showered
Not much sleep
A late night cat wrestling matches that took place around 3am in the dark on my chest made sure of that
I think cats can smell when youre allergic to them

I got to Coney Island a little after 4
We went on the Break Dancer
I was too busy bracing myself and trying to keep myself from getting dizzy to enjoy it
Not only does it make sure you're dizzy when you get off but there's a guy who shoots you with a hose just to make sure you're totally miserable
Then a corn-dog
A slice
A beer
Then Spook-A-Rama
Then another beer and a hotdog
Then the spinning-hang-you-upside-down-&-shoot-you-in-the-face-with-pee-water-through-a-firehose-ride
Then Nathans
Why is it that every time I go to Nathans I feel like Im on candid camera?
Theres always that person at the register who is either trying to make it through their first day on the job or trying hard enough to do as little as possible because its their last
Should it take 15 minutes to put a hotdog on a bun?
I could see the cooked hotdogs
I could see the buns
Apparently the woman helping me still hadnt made the put the hotdog in the bun connection
(Incidentally, each time that Ive typed the word hotdog it has come out instead as hotgod. I must really like hotdogs)
Oh
I didnt know this but youre not really entitled to get all the food that you ordered
You only get what they feel like giving you
You either get the hotdog or the fries you cant have both
Damnit, Nathans, why must I suffer for hotdogs?

Going to Coney Island on a regular weekend when its not a holiday or a special event is a unique experience
Everyone from the kids on up through the elderly look beat up and half-dead
Drawn faces
Sunken eyes
Stooped shouldered
Bright pink tans
Stained wife beaters stretched until translucent over distended stomachs
Tattoos faded until they are unrecognizable

By 7pm exhaustion has set on the crowd
Tired parents, too tired to argue as they herd their children, drag themselves down the boardwalk
Children covered in a pink cotton candy film stick to their parents legs as they silently cry to be carried
This is when tables begin to open up
This is when you can finally take a drink sitting down
You no longer have to share tables with refugees shoveling funnel cake through their beards into their hidden mouths
You dont have to wedge yourself between cast offs sneak-eating by themselves while their families lie beached in the sand
Around this time you can spread yourself out
You can enjoy your still cold beer and your hotgods (or hotdogs depending upon how spiritually connected you are to Nathans)
You can watch the collectors dig through the bins for bottles and cans
You can listen to the barkers try to pull in the stragglers and try to take advantage of the heat aided inebriation that still clouds the last of the nappers on the benches and the beach
This is when it sets in, exactly how much money youve spent
Exactly how much youve eaten
Exactly how old you are and how its going to take a little bit longer this time to recover from all of this