About health #2

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Konichiwassup everybody o/

THINKING ABOUT WRITING HEALTH BLOGS PERIODICALLY, it's been a while since I said anything here so this blog is going to be very long

A lot of people are always asking about my health here, so I decided to give you an update on what's going on; some have been following me since I wrote this a while ago on my 2020 health blog there I counted how far I was with unbearable symptoms, disabled, depressed on top of a bed in pain and hemorrhage every day

SUS

I tried to seek help in the single health system (which is free) I know that it helps and saves the lives of many people in my country but I just felt that they wanted to kill me, that they do not want to diagnose something that has no structure to treat, when I got there, the girl who made my registration of my data mocked my face when I said about my hemorrhages that lasted months, she just said that it was nothing that if I took contraceptive it would go away; since it wasn't her who was going to examine me, without any exam, without her being an expert in anything...

During the consultation I didn't feel safe, because she only asked me simple questions and gave me a common ultrasound exam, and without asking me for any blood test and recommended any 21-day contraceptive pill (something inside me told me it was much more than that)

WHENEVER YOU FEEL THAT SOMETHING IS WRONG WITH YOU DO NOT LET IT CONVINCE YOU OTHERWISE AND SEEK OTHER OPINIONS

If I had accepted that I have nothing and left there just taking any contraceptive (without previous hormonal exam) and with a pack of ferrous sulfate I don't even know what I would be like today, I don't even know if I would be alive

Then I looked for help on the private network; I went through 6 different doctors so far paying an absurd fortune thinking that everything would be resolved simply and quickly and that my life would return to normal in a short time; but I have been treated badly many times until now; the situation has not changed much I heard a lot of nonsense like:
- What you're feeling is not normal for your age...
- We tried everything I could I can't do anything else for you I'm sorry... (as if that was a reason not to investigate my case)
- You were sexually assaulted and you don't want to admit it (when the doctor did a colonoscopy and saw that I'm all injured inside)

I never had a family or friends support network, the most I have are some friends on the internet who try to help me as they can; the few people who saw what was happening to me just said "It must be nothing'' and I felt like they were lessening my pain and not having empathy; my family saw it as laziness and unwillingness to do things...

I managed to follow the diet she gave me for a while but it was very strict and it was a lot of work I was spending all my energy and time on it and i couldn't do anything else, the nutritionist said she was giving me simple recipes but i'm sure that she had a maid and a cook at home and that was why she was able to have a diet of this type

I'm alone in this, I don't have a cook, a day laborer, and my family doesn't care, the only person who does something for me was my brother who brought me groceries from the market many times

At that time I had also gone to the nutritionist to replace all the damage that a year and a half of bleeding had caused I took 12 different types (that's because she would still prescribe me more) paying 350 for consultation and 500 in pills

I GAVE UP

I gave up on treatment and on myself several feats, for not having money, for not having a good professional to attend to me, for being sad with the horrible things I was told, I was very afraid for not knowing what I had and I always asked myself why is this happening to me?

So I gave up on treatment yet again, and I didn't get recommendations from any good doctor, and I didn't want to go from office to office to hear the same disappointments over and over, so I spent a lot of time just accepting it and trying to pretend that everything was fine. , keeping smiling to keep working and showing up and so people support my work. For months I continued to have hemorrhage clots and pain even though I took the second contraceptive I was prescribed (the 30-day pills that they said would resolve the bleeding)
At that time I remember screaming in pain a few times and being funny at home and laughing at me...
I TRIED TO CONTINUE
I kept trying to make content for onlyfans, most of the time I was in bed or bleeding, when I felt less worse I made the most of that time to make a lot of photos and videos for me to post for several days, because I knew I would come back to get bad soon
a friend told me "when you have a chronic illness, make the most of the days that are less worse because you know that the rest of them you can't live with" this impressed me a lot because it was exactly what I was going through
I felt guilty because I wanted to take better care of my daughter and do a better job as well beyond the pressure of the problems I go through at home (living in a toxic family environment) This was already doing a lot of harm to my mental health. :(
A NEW HOPE BUT NOT
A friend saw a case similar to mine on twitter, and sent me the link to the publication, in that tweet the girl said that she had incessant hemorrhages like me and that only Dr.XXXX had managed to resolve and that no doctor has ever been able to find out. So I looked for her contact and booked an appointment online because she was from another state, (it was the most expensive appointment I paid so far 700) but she was the only doctor who wanted to give me the MRI referral and asked me too one more ferritin test

I took the exam, it cost the value of a minimum wage 1300 and I find it very sad that this is not a crime. I was sad not only for myself but for all the people who can't afford it all in an exam, I just tried to think about being grateful that I could afford it at the moment I went alone, there was no one to support me at the time, the nurse was surprised that this made me sad too :(
the examination indicated that I have advanced deep endometriosis and that it is linked to the uterosacral ligament;

I took a total of 51 exams and nobody knew what I had; many friends here suggested endometriosis to me, I am very sad that medicine in this country has disappointed me so much to the point that friends who are not even in the health area already doubt what I had and the first 5 doctors who studied and graduated have no idea...

The doctor explained that being close to the spine is what makes me have pain in the nerves from the spine to my feet she asked me if I wanted to have children because the treatment medicine she gave me caused infertility, she gave me another supplement, a more potent ferrocarbonyl than the one I was using and finally she gave me a medicine called feldene which greatly relieved the pain (but later I found out it's bad for the liver) so far everything was fine so on the second consultation with her, she attended to me in a hurry, I feel she didn't care and in the end she even said that I would be fine so I could get pregnant... and she said the hemorrhage had nothing to do with endometriosis and that it was an infection; but i had tried infection treatment before so I decided not to treat her anymore

A lot of doctors here in Brazil think that a woman being able to have a child is more important than the quality of life or life itself, and they avoid treatments that can save your life but leave you sterile... I HATE IT, I need live and take care of daughter I already have NOW

ALTERNATIVES
I went looking for other alternatives while I couldn't find a reliable professional
Then I met a friend's wife @rimbriani , he told me that she also has endometriosis, that was really good because talking to her I felt like I was the first person who really understood me
Bel specializes in natural treatments so she recommended two anti-inflammatory remedies to take every day
this was helping me even if very slowly but it was already the beginning of something after suffering so long and for the first time i went 1 week without hemorrhage

GET WORSE
I got worse; so I started to think that I was fine and that I could do everything normally
it made me a lot worse

I took pain and hemorrhage pills several times a day, I couldn't eat properly because I couldn't cook, I couldn't shower, I was useless

After that I stayed in bed for 3 whole months, feeling a lot of pain, suffering bleeding a lot this was the worst moment of all so far,
I isolated myself from everything and everyone, I do this when I'm sad

I don't like to get close to others when I'm sad so there's not much to do but hope to have reasons to be happy, so sorry for the late replies...

I got so sick that I could no longer distinguish what was a symptom of the disease, a side effect or a psychological consequence

I was at such a bad level that sitting for 10 minutes made me start bleeding heavily and in a lot of pain, I did everything I could to avoid standing up; Every day marked in red on my calendar is a day I have hemorrhage.

GAVE UP AGAIN AND AGAIN

I gave up working as a model because I scheduled rehearsals and went without the mood, many times I started getting ready to take pictures at home and gave up halfway through lack of courage, my friends @yuuh and @arthemis saw that I was often poorly in photoshoots that I tried to pose for them; later I found out that chronic fatigue is also a symptom and that explains a lot why I look so bad in photoshoots; I couldn't publish the last set, it made me really sad

So I finally admitted how bad I was and that I needed to take care of myself and give myself the time. I canceled the with them and with @pisces and @msilveira too, and this make me feel so bad :( and I asked for the money back so I could take care of my health

I gave up on supplementation, natural remedies and diet because it was physically and economically unsustainable

A lot of friends ask why I did not opt for a health plan because as I had to stop working I did not have a stable income and most specialist doctors and more expensive exams did not accept the simplest health plans

I FOUND A NEW SPECIALIST

So I found a doctor specializing in endometriosis in my region with good reviews on google, I decided to try, but her waiting list was huge, and this doctor was cheaper than the other, I thought 400 its okay; I was at the height of my despair but I would still have to wait another 4 months, I had to put up with this one whirlwind of pains for a little while longer

Then finally the day came and she asked me for a 700 expensive specific ultrasound and blood test; this was the most invasive test I've ever done, I screamed a lot and it felt like a long torture session, that's because I have several outbreaks of the disease spread inside me

The doctor recommended me gestrinone which cost 500, how can something so small be so expensive? And she also said that she tells me to use IUD, I'm still waiting for the return to know what the other indications will be and if I'll need to 15000 operation

HOW I'M NOW

I can't work, eat well, sleep well, I don't have unemployment insurance or health insurance, I still have a lot of symptoms, I CAN'T DO BASIC THINGS, I can't exercise, I've given up taking a lot of med$, my mental part is in chaos, I feel down and sad most of the time,I have no way of carrying this out

Gestrinone has helped me, but not everything is nice I still have many symptoms but of all of them what bothers me the most now is chronic fatigue; as for the side effects, the numerous cramps, hair loss, voice alteration; and I won't fail to mention my mental side



Gestrinone is a male hormone, so it can cause: Reactions such as: Acne, seborrhea, fluid retention, weight gain, hirsutism, alopecia, edema, decreased breast volume, voice change and other androgenic-like effects have been reported. Libido changes, flushing, headache, irritability, gastrointestinal alterations, increase in hepatic transaminases, cramps, arthralgias and isolated cases of benign intracranial hypertension.
I missed the return appointment for the doctor to evaluate my exam because she changed hospitals and didn't warn me, so I went there for nothing, and when I rescheduled I discovered that she is charging 800 a month double the amount in the new place; I was extremely sad about it, it ruined my mood for many days but I ended up rescheduling this appointment for the 20th
I have better and worse days, worse days prevail, chronic fatigue makes me wake up from a long sleep and feel like I haven't rested at all, makes me do simple household chores and feel exhausted as if I've worked two days in a row; I just want to go back modeling when I'm feeling 100%
I still need to adapt to a normal routine of basic care for myself and my daughter, every lunch I make for her, every shower I get up and take, all the simple details that should be normal are a victory, I've been at this since 2019, I know I'm not going to get better overnight and I'm trying to be patient with myself
OTHER THINGS

I had a disease called dengue during this time and aika suspected COVID, I managed to be attended by the SUS for dengue, I stayed in bed at home, I had horrible symptoms, but I didn't need to be hospitalized; my daughter just had the common flu, she had fevers for a few days I bought a 300 expensive covid test, but the result was negative so the doctor just asked to observe so now but everything went well; All this one thing after another and the death of a relative left me devastated, joining daughter school routine.

_________________________________________________________________________________

I also had a lot of anxiety to answer here, because I pretended for so long that everything was fine to earn keep doing my job and to take care of my daughter and hope for a future that it gave me a burnout even talking to everyone who was always nice to me

So i'm sorry about that i'm trying to work it out

What they ask me most lately is how they can help me: the only way someone can help me now is by supporting my work.

you can still support me by purchasing some of my content from the past that is on onlyfans or you can support me here on the site as a model

or BUY ME A COFFEE

Thank you for all the messages of affection, for cheering for me, for listening to me

Thank you if you read all this and still accompanies me, KISU <3

i want to give special thanks for friends:

@foxfire76 @ojtheviking @nappyboyradio @prospero1 @teevalley @dtimm87 @sullivan1971 @baronphartman @deputyo8 @crazyoverlord @zmutant @scottzilla67 @juhconnie @synestr @machetefly @acarty @jimbo256 @hamidkamara @brokenagain @akubukai @jayk74 @lz55 @wanderer667 @jmosher7727 @savagebeast91 @eldamon @whiprush3 @sevillus @fattyrandy @floodek @dennovondiesel @lilnomar33 @kmink @inspecturass @rowanshen @nocut666 @emeralda @astronaut420 @sheashannara @cett @lestalt19 @darkoedd @toothlesss @stubbs27 @pisces @geekly @rhiangt @martyn @weedfarmer @pitty5752 @kinjo44 @cheffers @amantesexy28 @daddywarbucks2 @zekeziekenstein @_arc_ @pecpec @poogan @marqueseder @rimbriani @cdkfrog @krudmonk @dany_xstyle @dragoner36 @kpitaokverna @thechristometh @ianbiederman99 @freakme @ferkixlll @cherryany @emunz @rhiangt @nitram65 @timmyboy1973 @kaazi187 @gonzo_sp @thedorkknight @captainmcbarky @simothunder @arthemis @athaniel @gentjanophilic @rockyapple @juniorpls @bokelsenjung @youravgpsych @thesecretis @mrhand39 @crazyoverlord @ragmig @KAGENUIT and @yuuh

VIEW 25 of 30 COMMENTS
psylunar:
Estou orando por você meu bem! Sinto muito e espero que encontre saída. Tem algumas ginecologistas naturais que eu sigo e são incríveis, curandeiras tbm e tem a dona flor da chapada. Tenho fé que você vai conseguir sair dessa tempestade.  💖
user20497027402:
My heart goes out to you and your daughter. I hope this recovery goes well for you, nobody deserves these kinds of problems. Stay strong, you’re beautiful and you are such a sweetheart. ♡

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