timber_

ok so... remember a few blogs back when i said i hadn't freaked out but i was expecting it in the next few days?.. well here it is. it happened.

i've been crying for an hour.
i've been on edge and bitchy all day..

i want to be settled here... i want to feel like this is home again.
i don't want to feel like this is a step backwards... or a failure. but i do.
i want life to be easy. i want to love myself.
i want someone to love me, and i want a boyfriend. a real one.
i don't want to keep disrespecting myself. i don't want to have to go get tested because i was drunk and let him fuck me with out a condom. i want to believe him when he says he's clean.
i want to be respected. i want to respect myself.
i want this emo to go away.

here's my weekend.
i went to dayton this weekend
i had tons of fun. i love you guys!
friday we went to derby in dayton, unfortunately they lost badly but played well none-the-less. and then off to The Southern Belle for the after party and to meet up with the rest of the SG crew for happylittlebitch's birthday! then we went to The Foundry and partied it up some more. good times.
saturday PunkNiteMike and i met up with KatieOkieDokie, her cousin and candykydfairy and had lunch at BK Rootbeer stand in piqua. it was so awesome! more good times.
here's some pics:

and here's a totally random video of me giving a tour of my new room. i'm so weird.