tikki

Really to just extend my last blog.I got a picture from my aunt saturday night.It was from 2007 and I was smiling in it.Nothing big just a pic of me around christmas time.I started looking at it and really all that shit that was pissing me off got mixed in too.
I know ive changed alot since then.More than physically but inside too.But like I said the pissy feelings started back.Im thinking ive tryed so fucking hard to be a better person and get shit right.This is honestly something that can be read and not understood and I understand that.But really its like ive got a big red button in front of me and if I were to give in and push id probibly feel better for a bit but it would destroy alot of things that mean alot to me.My hats off to anyone that fights addiction day to day.Cause this is all just plain and simple atitude with some special things at risk.
Im trying to find a happy medium between then and now.Where I can be happy in a comfortible way and yet not have this BS hovering.It may not be possible.God its like having pressure on my shoulders that I feel going to my head.The things I used to do dont work anymore.I cant find a focus.
Fuck that anyways.
On another hand though.I hope we can get some people out to this years SG cedar point event.