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the thirty-eighth night:

i have been drowning myself in whiskey and music. i have been bringing up memories that i need to get out here, that i need to pull up from under my skin. but i am not ready to write about them. all in due time, i suppose.

i haven't cum in days, but i have been teasing myself until i am on...
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VIEW 19 of 19 COMMENTS
seth0067:
Adonde estas le tigre?
_v_:
where have you been my dear
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the thirty-seventh night:

i am ashamed of how soft i am on the inside.

i read this recently and i wrote it on the inside of my arm, to remind myself; i sat down in the stacks at the library and pulled my shirt off of my arm so that i could write it from the inside of my bicep down to my wrist:

"You...
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VIEW 14 of 14 COMMENTS
stendec:
Maybe.
tara81:
I am so soft inside that it often hurts.
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the thirty-sixth night:

i have been moving through the city. i have been learning her curves and lines. i have been walking her hills as if i were discovering the shape of a new lover's thighs. i have been gliding into shops and slipping in between people while they talk, a scent, a shadow, unnoticed on quiet feet. i have been riding her buses aimlessly,...
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VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
thee_blacklisted:
you know, this kinda shit happens to me all the time too -- i think we must be soul mates, in fact. really.
monovox:
I actually whimpered out loud reading this.
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the thirty-fifth night:

for the first time in as long as i can remember, i had a dream about making love.

he was very tall, with light, but not blonde, hair. he had dark eyes. his skin was very pale, and soft, but his hands were workman's hands. his arms were wiry, but very strong.

we were in my childhood bed, the large queen sized...
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VIEW 8 of 8 COMMENTS
_v_:
should i be expecting any good mail soon?
n:
oh, ha ha ha...i was quoting a smiths song, so i think your dream (or, rather, nightmare) was worse.
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the thirty-fourth night:

i am relieved that i no longer get crushes, but rather cultivate obsessions.

this morning i practiced knots around my ankles, and then i opened my window wide, to let the cold air in

i laid on top of my bedsheets, ankles tied and legs pulled together with cords, this time lacing through the leg holes of my underwear, pulling it at...
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VIEW 12 of 12 COMMENTS
n:
trevor brown
n:
yeah, you and gea both.

i love the subject matter but not crazy about the media...

[Edited on Feb 20, 2003]
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the thirty-third night:

it is one of my first and best fantasies to be bound to a chair with a high back, or a table with stirrups,

with my legs strapped, or bandaged so that i cannot move them.

they are wide open.

my midsection, too, is bandaged and strapped to the chair, but not my arms.

my head is held in place by my...
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VIEW 15 of 15 COMMENTS
avanttard:
Thanks.
rickroyal:
I smile and long for more.
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the thirty-second night:

i woke up on the floor this morning, next to the heater in my room. my hands still had bandages around them, and the marks from the cord are still on my legs.

i spent the night by myself again, feeling more like myself.

i masturbated until my thighs were covered with cum, and my hair was soaked through with sweat.

i...
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VIEW 18 of 18 COMMENTS
thee_blacklisted:
manitoba is a canadian who makes "folktronica" that's really rad -- sorta like fourtet and fridge and rothko if you have heard them, only more pretty and well folky.
takemura is japanese and he's fucking a genius at the whole minimal techno thing -- very childlike and whimsical music almost a steve reich meets aphex meets a 6 year old boy kinda thing but very intricate too.
and takagi masakatsu is a video artist/ musician from japan who does really lovely fucked-up stuff as well -- none of these artists are particularly glitchy but they are laptop electronic sort of artists. masakatsu uses found sounds a lot, often the sounds of kids playing...
kid_607_evil_ins:
Like you needed to tell me you are a romantic smile

I took a few pics. I have some of a drug deal. Well, it is my friend who is a pharmacist dropping off pain meds to a patient.

I took lots of pics of my shoes. I took pics of mirrors. I scrambled to find my camera in the car so I could get this really good shot of the moon behind a cloud to no avail.
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the thirty-first night:

tonight, i wrapped extension cords around my ankles, and my knees. i circled them tightly around my thighs and i pulled them around my waist and breasts.

then, i began with the bandages. i wrapped them around my feet and legs until i was mummy-wrapped tight, until i could feel the cords digging into my skin. then i did the same to...
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VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
avanttard:
Should this have excited me? Or am I a bad person?
tara81:
best feeling ever... by the way, how did the interview go? kiss
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the thirtieth night:

today, i sat on my floor listening to radio shows.

i listened to a man with a voice like home, like the warmest blanket in the coldest room as he told stories, created pictures with his tone and his imagination.

there were stories of beauty, of loss, of terror, of all the twisted ways that people can be.

there was one story...
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VIEW 8 of 8 COMMENTS
avanttard:
We've got to quit meeting like this.

Saeki would kick much proverbial ass. But Saeki vs. Brown? Is it fair? Would it even make any sense? Couldn't they just harness their powers together for the sake of all that is "well" and "good", thereby reigning as a dual-headed king of the universe?
tommysativa:

i stumbled across her. Her soul divided into pixels, elaborately arranged into poetry spread through 30 chapters. So many others came to know her a just one bit more with each passing day. I peeped through all her windows in just one night. I wonder what she thinks of us voyeurs; what we say, what we think, how we feel after tickling her words across our retinas, the cadence driving the rhythm of of our synapses. Is she a she, what inspiration drives that creative outlet, why this venue and are there others in grander or simpler notions? I'm reminded of time, its arduous relationship with sleep and my need to ensure harmony betwixt the two.

For what it matters ...it's a great read when swallowed whole. I see the daily nibblers have also had themselves a treat.
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the twenty-ninth night:

last night when i came home there was a boy in the apartment. he was tall and thin, young.

he had injured his toe, it had a dark blue bruise, but it was already turning yellow around the edges.

i knelt down in front of him and took photos of it, excited.

i wanted to kiss it, but i was afraid.
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tara81:
OhoohH I want to see these photos love
_v_:
yuck. can i see it? come on.
don't kiss it. yucky yellow toe