The divorce probably should have happened years ago. For the record doing the right thing isnt always the right thing. Sometimes you cant fix it. Sometimes you cant undo or make up for the past. The reality of this is that both of our lives are going to suck because we cant get along.....the kids will suffer for it and our personal lives will continue to be a mess. Yet, I'm tired of fighting fate. I need to wake up and not be concerned with how im going to get through to her today. Enough is enough.
The reality of it is that she wont agree to it. She hasnt had a job for 6 years....which really isnt her fault, she has taught/taken care of the kids. The reality of it is that I probably have a few more years of being provider and taking all the blame for whatever happens next. The reality of it is that I am very much becaming the bitter man I never wanted to be. The reality of it is I have a hard time not seeing all women as thankless, perpetual victims that take no accoutability for thier actions. Clearly this isnt the case and I dont mean to offend my female friends, but this sort of resentment seems to creep up on me often...more often than I would like.
I would run over the details of it all with my friends and seek reinforcement for my actions.....but in real life I am compulisvely private and here I am habitually vague. The only person who really knows my side of the whole deal is me. So, for the record I feel like shit, but then again its what must be done for the long run. Niether of us have a chance at happiness together and pissed off parents make pissed off childern. Granted, even that may be unavoidable now...given the circumstances.
At the end of the day, fuck her. I cant change the past. Sorry the last decade sucked, better luck next time and have fun finding your future....especially since im paying for it.
The reality of it is that she wont agree to it. She hasnt had a job for 6 years....which really isnt her fault, she has taught/taken care of the kids. The reality of it is that I probably have a few more years of being provider and taking all the blame for whatever happens next. The reality of it is that I am very much becaming the bitter man I never wanted to be. The reality of it is I have a hard time not seeing all women as thankless, perpetual victims that take no accoutability for thier actions. Clearly this isnt the case and I dont mean to offend my female friends, but this sort of resentment seems to creep up on me often...more often than I would like.
I would run over the details of it all with my friends and seek reinforcement for my actions.....but in real life I am compulisvely private and here I am habitually vague. The only person who really knows my side of the whole deal is me. So, for the record I feel like shit, but then again its what must be done for the long run. Niether of us have a chance at happiness together and pissed off parents make pissed off childern. Granted, even that may be unavoidable now...given the circumstances.
At the end of the day, fuck her. I cant change the past. Sorry the last decade sucked, better luck next time and have fun finding your future....especially since im paying for it.
VIEW 10 of 10 COMMENTS
It sounds like change would really be good for you and everyone else involved too, I know there's nothing worse for kids than growing up in an environment where the parents resent and loathe each other but carry on under the pretense of being "the happy family".
There's a few guys where I work that are kind of ground down and bitter due to being stuck in mutually unbeneficial partnerships with people just to avoid the psychological trauma of divorce.
It's disturbingly easy to find yourself down in a hole and then feel like you're not allowed to even acknowledge it without opening yourself up to attack.