I'm beggining to understand that it is not acceptable for men my age to express ourselves sexualy, being male and almost 40 it inevitably just comes across as creepy somehow and that's just something I'm not prepaired to live with, being a "creep", or at least seen as one, I don't say this because I've had any complaints, but I have seen the reactions that other people get ..in this society, men my age are supposed to have settled down, got married, had kids etc ..but that's just not who I am and probably never will be, so I'm just going to make an effort to slow down on sex/sexuality in general and try to focus more on other things like art, music, liturature and other more creative/productive endeavors. I've always liked a challenge and the benefits will be worth it I think.
Edited to clarify somewhat.
Edited to clarify somewhat.
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Speaking for myself, when a man ages he is more attractive if his sexuality is sophisticated and multi-dimensional (ie, includes personality, artistic expression like you mentioned, etc) rather than juvenile/in-your-face.
Just my thoughts. Your mileage may vary.
If anything, I'm more overtly sexual these days, but I'm also making much more effort to let people know what I've learned over time. The experience that comes with age isn't much use unless it's communicated. Can't hurt to communicate (for example) that we've discovered:
- the value of letting intimate connections find their own pace; their own process & outcome; enjoying the ride wherever it goes.
- that it's worth asking for what you want, especially when it's scary to ask.
- that habits of honesty and respect come more easily with decades of practice
- that control and power aren't much fun without surrender & helplessness, and all of 'em are worth getting used to.
- that imaginative lechery and true perversion ripen with age
Even if it all gets read as creepy by some folks, maybe if we're loud and persistent long enough we'll raise the bar overall for what people around us will settle for in sex & relationships. Changing up the amount of time you're throwing into different interests sounds like change that'll make you happy. I don't know you well, but being too concerned about how a few folks misunderstand you doesn't sound like you; doesn't sound happy-making at all.
(edited to qualify some generalizations & to mention that I'm also enjoying a mostly solo Christmas; taking long walks through snowy streets I don't often get to see.)
Hope your new year rocks.
[Edited on Dec 26, 2005 4:19PM]