throatneedle

when i get the anxiety attacks i feel really cranky at first and then that progresses in my brain not being able to think anything else but this buzzing and my heart feels like it's gonna explode from sadness and anxiety and my whole body tingles and i can't sit still and i can't really talk and i start breathing faster and faster and harder and it makes me dizzy and usually i start scratching my arms and running my fingers through my hair. it's really scary and weird. it usually happens when i'm by myself too. and sometimes they'll last for half an hour. i had one a couple of years ago that lasted for four hours. they happen when i'm really stressed and sad and unsatisfied and scared. and right now i'm stressed b/c i just moved back to NY a month or so ago and i still haven't been able to find a job. i have 40 bucks to live on until i find one. the landlord situation is super stressful. and i always fall into a depression this time of year. add a few other things to that and i get anxiety attacks. i'm not on medication for it b/c i can't afford to go to see a doctor right now. i've been in limbo for the past seven months and that's a long story. and stuff.


long reply to your question over.

Oooh ta, OOh ta be, Ooh ta be a Londoner!!!
Oooh ta, OOh ta be, Ooh ta be a Londoner!!!

Maybe it because I'm a Londoner that I love London taan I get funny feelin inside of me just walking up and daaan maybe its because I'm a londoner that I love london town, get off me sista!

We had joy we had fun, we had Man U on the run but the joy didn't last coz they run too fukin fast!!

ahh sigh (sheddin tears) a little southern ribben guvnor. But yeah hate assnal too

Glad the ex thing went well, saw mine earlier..damn still fight (I know she wants me even when she sez stop being an asshole!)

Luv to my peeps!!

superbowl... fell asleep 1/2 way through... preview for the hulk was good ... and the matrix... *drool*

i don't even watch basketball

um, i need my tampons back.

they have costco in korea, too. i haven some pals that shop there and by mass quantities of cheese and scones. mmmm cheeese.

Herb Man Hustlin..you funny bastard..I so feel ya pain, did the lighter on full (guy had turned it up for the bong) ligeting my smoke...and that is the worst smell!

Logans run awww yeah..luv the cute black outfits and the funky ass guns..can you say the future world looks like the backlot hills in southern CA..hey wait thats the same bolder from Star Trek, no..sim mill man...no... A team..nooo..

Love 4 my East Coast Playaz!!

i once tried to light a j by standing over the gas burner.....der. burnt off a nice patch of hair on the front of my head, my eyelashed and tips of my eyebrows. that should be an anti-drug commercial.

and thanks for the sentiments babe

i love me city life...

is there any other kind of sex, than rough sex??

you need to come for a visit NOW muthafucka...we can have
a WE MISS NELL smoke-a-thon! We've got a spare room
fully of scary shit that'll give you nightmares for you to sleep in....

if you took the jesus bit out of there, it would be sort of a nice sentiment.

debts cancelled.
so mote it be.

i bet you'd taste good with a nice tamarind-based sauce - maybe with some scotch bonnet peppers. grilled - definitely grilled.

Man United vs Blackthorn tonight dude! Come on you reds!

Doesn't it splash back onto your feet when you use the little urinals? Hmmm.....

you silly little bitch!
so it is colder than balls right now, and will get colder.
school started and it is great! i just loooove school....
seriously, love it

i'm hiding in yr dope.

DUDE!! DO NOT BURN OUT BEFORE OUR FIRST GIG!!!!

Christ! Someone keep the H and hookers away from him!! We've got a tour to think about!!

I know exactly what you mean (about your comment on my journal). I have had a nearly identical situation arise a couple times in my life, and I felt the same way every time.

Why just be friends when you can be enemies? It's so much more fun that way, and the occassions for drunken rough sex arise more often from horny ex-girlfriends that hate you.

Umm, I mean tender loving or something. Like in a Night Ranger song.

Also,
E=MC, E=MC, E=MC Hawking. Beeatch.

oh shit, i cannot compete with all the ass-smooching that will surely ensue as a result of your question...

i couldn't possibly love you the most. but im sure you are smart and strong and handsome. well... maybe handsome is not the word for that picture.

how's asia? you mean south korea? not as fucking scarey as the media wants you to think. nobody here seems worried at all.

I'm stoned too.. so I love youse all