thora

We have to cut ourselves a little slack, and to get the ball rolling I'm going to tell you some things you probably won't hear elsewhere:

FALLACY: You have to love yourself before you can love anyone else.
TRUTH: We learn love through those who love us, and not only CAN we focus our love on someone else before ever turning it inward, but the love that person returns to us can let us see ourselves as lovable.

FALLACY: Happiness depends on high self-esteem.
TRUTH: High self-esteem can be deceptive. We are all connected and the esteem we have for ourselves should be as the esteem we have for others.
To be harmonious with the ego we trick ourselves into thinking all we do, say and think is right, creating defensive behaviors. Defensive behaviors can be useful, but only when we are really under attack.
It is not high self-esteem we should strive for, but appropriate self-esteem, which is flexible, not blind, not subservient to ego. Appropriate self-esteem is responsive to who we are IN THE MOMENT, and though forgiving, it is a HEALTHY critic. We can still LOVE ourselves no matter what.
The person we are is neither good nor bad, s/he is the exact reflection of her/his present action. Are we to hold the "bad-acting" person in high esteem? Not if we are to grow.

FALLACY: In order to be a strong, confident, well-realized person, you have to know who you are.
TRUTH: Knowledge can be as limiting as ignorance. Who you are changes day by day, and experience by experience. Who you are is as vast as the universe itself. Be wary of throwing yourself into the rigid jaws of self-definition - one day you may need to crawl out. Evolution leads to adaptation, adaptation to survival. Novelty is life, entropy, death.

FALLACY: It is our insecurities that cripple us in life.
TRUTH: Insecurities can be our friends. Absolute security can mean complacency. Don't rest on your laurels.
They who venture into the unknown are not free of trepidation; they are not blindly secure, for if they were, they would not be heros. Bravery needs a challenge, it needs fears to overcome. Otherwise it would not be bravery, it would be a rut.
Question: Should we be secure in something inharmonious with our higher Self?

FALLACY: Love is the greatest feeling we can experience.
TRUTH: Love is not a feeling, it is a state of being - something we embody, something we channel.
Love is Love, and always perfect.
Love, whether universal or personal, only rubs elbows with jealousy, abuse or manipulation when the lover does, when her/his own clouds obscure Love.
This can improve.
When we channel Love fully, we embody Love.
It produces feelings in ourselves and others, but it is not a feeling.
When we Love, we ARE Love.

Take it or leave it.

- Thora Zine