KICKBOXER VS. BLOODSPORT: FINAL SHOWDOWN
Van Damme's Toughness
He plays with little children and talks to dogs in Kickboxer, but he also KICKS A TREE DOWN. Whereas in Bloodsport he breaks the bottom brick. I'm not sure here. Is kicking a tree down tougher than breaking that bottom brick? Also in Bloodsport he's like a Green Beret or something.
Van Damme's Outfits
At first Bloodsport was the clear winner here, but then towards the middle of Kickboxer he broke out the mega tight racerback tanktops paired with high waisted zoot suit trousers.
Displays of Van Damme's Remarkably Limber Groin
Draw. Both movies involve ropes pulling Jean Claude's legs to the far reaches of the earth. In Bloodsport he's hanging from trees and chairs, in Kickboxer there's a whole apparatus just for the groin stretching.
Van Damme's Love Interest
Hot Thai Girl Mylee beats the shit out of that uppity blonde bitch.
Roaring Crowd
The crowd in Kickboxer is larger.
Training Period Featuring Inscrutable Asian Master
Draw.
Dialogue
Kickboxer has a lot more swearing. Point goes to Kickboxer.
Sidekicks
Well, Bloodsport has both the little Hong Kongese guide fellow and the guy who played Ogre in "Revenge of the Nerds." Both of these characters are amalgamated as Taylor, who has the added bonus of being a hard-drinking stripper-loving Nam vet. Much as I hate to vote against Ogre, Taylor is really the better sidekick.
Tong Po vs. Chong Li
Quite frankly Tong Po looks possessed. Chong Li just looks kinda scary. Funny side note: the actor who played Tong Po was listed as "Tong Po" in the credits.
Martial Arts
Muay Thai vs. whatever it is he does in Bloodsport: they seem to be about the same to me.
CONCLUSION:
KICKBOXER IS THE BEST VAN DAMME MOVIE ABOUT AVENGING ONE'S FAMILY AND HONOR IN A SMALL ASIAN COUNTRY VIA MARTIAL ARTS.
Van Damme's Toughness
He plays with little children and talks to dogs in Kickboxer, but he also KICKS A TREE DOWN. Whereas in Bloodsport he breaks the bottom brick. I'm not sure here. Is kicking a tree down tougher than breaking that bottom brick? Also in Bloodsport he's like a Green Beret or something.
Van Damme's Outfits
At first Bloodsport was the clear winner here, but then towards the middle of Kickboxer he broke out the mega tight racerback tanktops paired with high waisted zoot suit trousers.
Displays of Van Damme's Remarkably Limber Groin
Draw. Both movies involve ropes pulling Jean Claude's legs to the far reaches of the earth. In Bloodsport he's hanging from trees and chairs, in Kickboxer there's a whole apparatus just for the groin stretching.
Van Damme's Love Interest
Hot Thai Girl Mylee beats the shit out of that uppity blonde bitch.
Roaring Crowd
The crowd in Kickboxer is larger.
Training Period Featuring Inscrutable Asian Master
Draw.
Dialogue
Kickboxer has a lot more swearing. Point goes to Kickboxer.
Sidekicks
Well, Bloodsport has both the little Hong Kongese guide fellow and the guy who played Ogre in "Revenge of the Nerds." Both of these characters are amalgamated as Taylor, who has the added bonus of being a hard-drinking stripper-loving Nam vet. Much as I hate to vote against Ogre, Taylor is really the better sidekick.
Tong Po vs. Chong Li
Quite frankly Tong Po looks possessed. Chong Li just looks kinda scary. Funny side note: the actor who played Tong Po was listed as "Tong Po" in the credits.
Martial Arts
Muay Thai vs. whatever it is he does in Bloodsport: they seem to be about the same to me.
CONCLUSION:
KICKBOXER IS THE BEST VAN DAMME MOVIE ABOUT AVENGING ONE'S FAMILY AND HONOR IN A SMALL ASIAN COUNTRY VIA MARTIAL ARTS.
VIEW 27 of 27 COMMENTS
But what about Double Impact vs. Replicant? Twin brothers (Both played by Van Damme) team up to take out their parent's murders, OR, a clone (Van Damme) made from a serial killer's (Van Damme) DNA must hunt down and kill the man he originated from? Either way, you get double Van Damme action!
But, Replicant may have the edge with Michael Rooker from Mallrats being the "good" Van Damme's partner.