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This last week has been a gift, a gift of exercise in patience and restraint. In getting things wrong, and finding ways to be more gentle, and be more kind. It has been a chance to put into practice the things I have been training with my meditation and mindfullness. Realizing that even if I want perhaps nothing more than to write a letter to...
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nickstone:
@therustycheez You are a Wise man. I wish I had so much wisdom. Lean and rest, yes. But I feel more as I am sinking, to be honnest.
arroezze:
I take this lesson not only to heart, but as a daily practice. I feel I'm kind, to others. But I certainly lack patience. Patience and tact. Loving others, and yourself equally is a difficult battle. Thanks for the remind to not only be kind, but to be patient.
20

Something I wanted to share and get your thoughts about. This morning I woke up to a visualization of a drain in my middle, black water pouring into it without end. The opening wasn’t very large, but it seemed bottomless. It was the hole.

Yesterday I ‘took the day off’ from my mental exercises. I spent a great deal of time doing the things that
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ferkixlll:
And the concept of the Carbon Ring came from a dream about the Worm Ouroboros. The mind will let slip some amazing insights. Let them ferment and see what comes forth.
therustycheez:
@ferkixlll Doing my best to keep open and just see what comes when staying really aware. =) I didn't know about the ring-Ouroboros connection though, that's cool!
22

With someone that I've had some difficulties with in the past. Someone that I've not always been truthful with. But someone that seems to refuses to give up on me.

It's not hard to see though this, but what happened this week was something that I don't think ever happened before. I fell in love with myself, truly and honestly. I feel like I've opened
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therustycheez:
@gadget I get the feeling I am going to be /plenty/ sore tomorrow. =) Here's to having that feeling (maybe not the soreness, but that full one) as much as possible. Thank you! <3
dhyani:
The Path of True Love starts when you begin to learn to forgive yourself for creating the circumstances that manifest pain and suffering for yourself and others. As you have learned, it opens a door to a vast new world where it is okay to love yourself - without projecting your identifications of your own weaknesses onto another.  I am SO GLAD that you chose to share this with us! The potential you have for love, @therustycheez, is INFINITE. The key lies in learning to recognize just who and what you really are! You will find that the Love you connected with will expand a little bit every day, if you let it, and when you love yourself properly, it makes loving and being loved by another fundamentally easier. I might add, that last photo would make an awesome profile pic! 💗!
21

I enjoy taking pictures with my phone. Total hobbyist. Taking pictures leaves me at odds with myself sometimes. Those times where I forget that I am a fluid creature that doesn't have to always be one way or another. That I can change and over a day, or an hour be more into one of my aspects than another. What gets thought about is that
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VIEW 9 of 9 COMMENTS
dhyani:
P.S. I know nothing about mushrooms (except that some are delicious, others deadly, and others psychedelic), but I do know how to do a reverse image search. Here’s a link that might be helpful:  https://www.mushroomexpert.com/boletes.html
ferkixlll:
The Zen story about hits the nail. It's how we interact with things. The Shakers ( 19th century communal religious group noted for their furniture, among other things) had an aphorism: Make something as if You will use it Forever, hold on to it as if you will die tonight.  ** To Be in the Now is all that we have: taking pictures, culling a bookshelf, dining with a special friend it is all just That moment, relish it.
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I don't think I've ever posted something here before. But tonight with the help of copious amount of alcohol, I'm doing such.


I don't think that I ever had gotten addicted to someone before, but over the last year and a half, I did. I met someone that made me feel amazing, she filled me in a way that I hadn't felt in years. I...
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dhyani:
@therustycheez, I feel your pain. However, your blog shows that you are growing as a result of your experience. You said that you have no self-value; that would indicate that you don’t love yourself. I would recommend that you start there: 1. Forgive yourself for trying to fill the void inside with the attention that your beautiful friend lavished upon you. If you cannot forgive and love yourself, all the affirmations in the universe from others will be like whitewashing a tomb. 2. If you want to gain a sense of self-respect and self-worth, I would encourage you to set a goal to achieve something that will challenge the hell out of you and which will force you out of your comfort zone, and then don’t quit until you achieve it. Make every sacrifice necessary to make it happen, while maintaining a normal balance in the rest of your life. Once you’ve achieved that, you’ll find that not only will others give you praise for your accomplishment, you will already feel great, because you were already worthy love and applause, you just had to create a space for it in your heart. 3. I’d encourage you to blog more often and get more involved in the SG community; there’s awesome people here from all over this little wet rock we call Earth. 💗🤗
ferkixlll:
Honest Self Examination is difficult. Finding out what parts to discard and which to improve upon is confusing. May you like the you that emerges.