I'm still bummed out about missing the opera "Carmen". Of all the operas in the world, that's the only one I burn with a fire of desire to see. Fuck. Maybe I can catch it somewhere else, like in the Pacific Northwest in Seattle or Tacoma or Kent. That would be awesome cause then I'd have somewhere to sta other then a hotel. Otherwise, I need to find it playing in some other metroplex and just opt for a hotel room afterwards.
My brother got in today. I took him out on the family ranch, which he's never seen before. We came very close to being attacked by a twenty-five hundred pound bull. Well, my TRUCK almost got gored. I kept running up close to him and then rolling back and up close and back trying to scare him off the trail cause there was no way to go around. Then he lowered his horns and started stamping and doing all those things that anyone who's lived on a ranch knows you've pissed off the ONE animal you don't want angry at you. So, needless to say, I backed up rather quick and laid on the horn. Eventually he stepped aside and let me by.
They came and picked up my grandma's old hospital bed and all the supplies. Luckily I showed up just in time to be with my Grandpa when this happened, cause it was real hard on him.
Being in their house without her there is really, really weird. We tell stories and drink and just kick back, but without her there it's just fucking weird.
My head hurts. I went to go sign up with those local contractor that does research work and all (for the business) but, of fucking course, the little shortcut that Mapquest suggested didn't even exist. After driving around for an hour in parts of the town I've never been (except to score coke - this is the rich part of town) until I got a headache and decided to fucking leave it for tomorrow.
I might have rented one of the properties. Good, I could use the commission. Well, I don't really NEED it, but a little extra money never hurt.
My pizza is pretty good. Pizza Hut's extralarge for 9.99 is a pretty kick ass deal. Plus the manager and I get to share a lot of war stories about running stories and delivering and shit like that. He used to work for all the same companies, and many of the same stores, as I did, but at different times.
Spending the day in my grandma's house and then picking up her ashes at the funeral home is making denial a little bit harder. Ok, a lot bit harder.
My brother got in today. I took him out on the family ranch, which he's never seen before. We came very close to being attacked by a twenty-five hundred pound bull. Well, my TRUCK almost got gored. I kept running up close to him and then rolling back and up close and back trying to scare him off the trail cause there was no way to go around. Then he lowered his horns and started stamping and doing all those things that anyone who's lived on a ranch knows you've pissed off the ONE animal you don't want angry at you. So, needless to say, I backed up rather quick and laid on the horn. Eventually he stepped aside and let me by.
They came and picked up my grandma's old hospital bed and all the supplies. Luckily I showed up just in time to be with my Grandpa when this happened, cause it was real hard on him.
Being in their house without her there is really, really weird. We tell stories and drink and just kick back, but without her there it's just fucking weird.
My head hurts. I went to go sign up with those local contractor that does research work and all (for the business) but, of fucking course, the little shortcut that Mapquest suggested didn't even exist. After driving around for an hour in parts of the town I've never been (except to score coke - this is the rich part of town) until I got a headache and decided to fucking leave it for tomorrow.
I might have rented one of the properties. Good, I could use the commission. Well, I don't really NEED it, but a little extra money never hurt.
My pizza is pretty good. Pizza Hut's extralarge for 9.99 is a pretty kick ass deal. Plus the manager and I get to share a lot of war stories about running stories and delivering and shit like that. He used to work for all the same companies, and many of the same stores, as I did, but at different times.
Spending the day in my grandma's house and then picking up her ashes at the funeral home is making denial a little bit harder. Ok, a lot bit harder.
i feel very much like throwing up, but it's not exactly nausea. meaning that i want to throw up, but not the every second of every minute. it's there, and when the urge comes to the surface it's powerful, but it goes away and then i just feel over full. funny, it didn't seem like i ate too much last night.
i want to just throw up and get it over with, but i have this thing about throwing up by myself. i almost choked to death one time when i was young and since then i have had this thing about vomiting. literally, i've thrown up three times since i was sixteen (twice for food poisoning and once from drinking waaaay too much and eating a steak with half a bottle of garlic salt on it...the garlic salt is what did me in). before that, i hadn't thrown up since I was like nine years old. yet, i have this horrible stomach and i always feel nauseus - but my "phobia", as it were, is so strong that i'll suffer the pain for a whole day just to avoid praying to the porcelian god for a mere couple minutes.
see, this is why i need a wife. or even a monkey that can operate a phone. i know i'm not going to asphyxiate again, but the memory is so strong that i can't help it - even if it was fourteen years ago. of all the ways to die, drowning, especially on my own fucking vomit, is not the way i want to go. give me a car crash, airplane explosion, shooting, stabbing, shark attack, house fire, anything but to fucking asphyxiate. fuck that.
the pepto bismal is not helping. fucking shit tastes and looks kind of expired. just greeeeeeaaaaat. i'm gonna double up on my medication, see if that helps.
i wonder why humans vomit so much? i mean, think about it, of all the animals on the planet, what vomits more, per capita, then a human? nothing, right? but aren't we supposed to be all technologically advanced and all? and isn't vomiting a sign that things aren't the way they're supposed to be?
oh, should i worry that i have conversations with myself when i'm driving around? out loud, i mean?
Dont worry about talking to yourself...worry when your not sure if you are talking to yourself or if someone else is really there...