Whoa ho ho! SNAP! Can we say "eat your heart out Bond"? The outfit I picked up for my sister's wedding is insane. The fucking thing, minus the socks, shoes and tie, cost over a bill and a half. But it's pimp. P-I-M-P type pimp. I wish I had a fuckin' camera to put this shit up online.
The wine I got cost about fifty bucks for two bottles, but it's damn good stuff. Hope the airline lets me take it onto the plane, otherwise I'm gonna be super pissed.
With the books that puts me well over three hundred bucks just in the last two days on this wedding. No matter - it's a once in a lifetime type thing.
The courthouse I had to go to this afternoon fucking sucks. I had to wait in one line for ten minutes just to get a fucking piece of paper to go to the second line to file it. The only reason I got the paper is because the deputy got tired of me standing in everyone's way and asked me to sit down and I said "All I need is one fucking piece of paper. Just one. Then I can fill it out and give it to that lady there and you won't see me ever again. That's it. If this girl would get off the fucking phone and give me my piece of paper, I'll gladly get out of everyone's way". Needless to say, I promptly got the piece of paper, but the bailiff/sheriff/whatever didn't stop eyeballing me until I left. I ended up waiting longer for the fucking piece of paper then I did to fill it out and file it and pay for it all. Bastards. The Justice of the Piece offices on the Southside of the city are all like that.
OK, so, let's see. Clothes; check. Doctor office; check (nothing interesting here - just a follow up). Wine; check. Courthouse; check.
All I didn't get done was switch on the water at four houses and to find out about my business license. I called but they put me on hold for fucking ever, so I hung up.
Man, I'm pissed. The ONE fucking year I want a flu shot, is the one year I can't get one. I never needed one before, but last year I got the flu for the first time ever and it fucking sucked - now I'm properly scared.
OK, so I need to do a little paperwork and print up some stuff and pack and I'm ready to go. I need to go to Wal-Mart and buy black long johns (medium bottoms, large top) and black dress hoes and black dress shoes shoe laces and some Curve cologne.
Oh yeah, the girl that helped me at Dilliards was hot; a MILF in the truest sense. She wouldn't have been so hot if she hadn't been wearing Victoria's Secret VANILLA perfume and super sexy fishnets (they were all the more sexy cause they were torn a little up high...just a little, but that means they see action
). That VS Vanilla perfume is fucking...wow...what to say? The most sensual perfume ever comes to mind. That perfume could make any woman sexy.
Oh, yeah, I hope Bill O'Reilly GOES TO JAIL FOR EVER FOR SEXUAL HARASSMENT!!! That pig deserves to rot in Hell for all eternity. That nazi chicken screwing, pig fucking asshole.
The wine I got cost about fifty bucks for two bottles, but it's damn good stuff. Hope the airline lets me take it onto the plane, otherwise I'm gonna be super pissed.
With the books that puts me well over three hundred bucks just in the last two days on this wedding. No matter - it's a once in a lifetime type thing.
The courthouse I had to go to this afternoon fucking sucks. I had to wait in one line for ten minutes just to get a fucking piece of paper to go to the second line to file it. The only reason I got the paper is because the deputy got tired of me standing in everyone's way and asked me to sit down and I said "All I need is one fucking piece of paper. Just one. Then I can fill it out and give it to that lady there and you won't see me ever again. That's it. If this girl would get off the fucking phone and give me my piece of paper, I'll gladly get out of everyone's way". Needless to say, I promptly got the piece of paper, but the bailiff/sheriff/whatever didn't stop eyeballing me until I left. I ended up waiting longer for the fucking piece of paper then I did to fill it out and file it and pay for it all. Bastards. The Justice of the Piece offices on the Southside of the city are all like that.
OK, so, let's see. Clothes; check. Doctor office; check (nothing interesting here - just a follow up). Wine; check. Courthouse; check.
All I didn't get done was switch on the water at four houses and to find out about my business license. I called but they put me on hold for fucking ever, so I hung up.
Man, I'm pissed. The ONE fucking year I want a flu shot, is the one year I can't get one. I never needed one before, but last year I got the flu for the first time ever and it fucking sucked - now I'm properly scared.
OK, so I need to do a little paperwork and print up some stuff and pack and I'm ready to go. I need to go to Wal-Mart and buy black long johns (medium bottoms, large top) and black dress hoes and black dress shoes shoe laces and some Curve cologne.
Oh yeah, the girl that helped me at Dilliards was hot; a MILF in the truest sense. She wouldn't have been so hot if she hadn't been wearing Victoria's Secret VANILLA perfume and super sexy fishnets (they were all the more sexy cause they were torn a little up high...just a little, but that means they see action
). That VS Vanilla perfume is fucking...wow...what to say? The most sensual perfume ever comes to mind. That perfume could make any woman sexy.
Oh, yeah, I hope Bill O'Reilly GOES TO JAIL FOR EVER FOR SEXUAL HARASSMENT!!! That pig deserves to rot in Hell for all eternity. That nazi chicken screwing, pig fucking asshole.
therealtexasguy:
Yes, that's right. Nazi Chickens are the ones Bill O'Reilly screws. Not just any chickens, not like the rest of us, but NAZI chickens...that Sick Fuck...