everytime I look at Fractal's picture on my "FAVORITE SUICIDEGIRLS" list, I am blown away by her utter beauty. Like a roman sculpture chiseled out of the purest marble - she is a siren men would travel round the globe, through infinite horrors and dangers, just to stand before and gawk in wonderment. Everytime I feel really down, and really upset, I crack a beer (I drink a LOT more now that I don't smoke) and flip through her sets. She reminds me of every girlfriend I've ever had, even those who couldn't resemble her any less. Each picture is like a different moment from my life. I don't even see her as a person - just a collection of memories and ideas. #28 reminds me of the time Angela and I got arrested for criminal trespass. #22 reminds me of the time I got high with Gloria's father before taking her to see a movie; we smoked out behind the garage, snickering and laughing as she searched the house in vain for us. Maybe it's sad, or sick, or whatever. I'm glad those pictures are there. Strange that I would place so much stock in her pictures, yet I never take pictures of my own. Never. I have exactly three pictures of important friends/lovers/girlfriends I've had since 1996. Two of them are in my pictures folder. The other one, of my first girlfriend in San Antonio, is torn up at the bottom of some nameless box in my closet. I take all my pictures in my head - I figure if it's worth remembering, I'll do it myself. If not, then maybe it's best forgotten.
Yeah, so I wrote a whole two pages of stuff I was gonna cut and paste in here, but it seems rather useless now. I'm still half-drunk and fully sleep deprived to bother. Most of it was useless drivel anyways - my bitching about my family dynamic - yet again. I'm sure that's exactly what ya'll want to read, more of my complaining.
So Culebra Island off of Puerto Rico it is - my Carribean vacation. Estimated Date I Can Afford It - 2018. Let's hope the Mayans/Aztecs were wrong and that's NOT the year the world ends. Funny that so many of the ancient civilizations placed the end of the world some time in the very early 21st Century. We might just have something very interesting to look forward too. I almost hope they're right - it's not every day someone get's to witness the end of a civilization. Such a profound experience might just make this fuckin crap shoot of a life worth it, no?
Yeah, so I wrote a whole two pages of stuff I was gonna cut and paste in here, but it seems rather useless now. I'm still half-drunk and fully sleep deprived to bother. Most of it was useless drivel anyways - my bitching about my family dynamic - yet again. I'm sure that's exactly what ya'll want to read, more of my complaining.
So Culebra Island off of Puerto Rico it is - my Carribean vacation. Estimated Date I Can Afford It - 2018. Let's hope the Mayans/Aztecs were wrong and that's NOT the year the world ends. Funny that so many of the ancient civilizations placed the end of the world some time in the very early 21st Century. We might just have something very interesting to look forward too. I almost hope they're right - it's not every day someone get's to witness the end of a civilization. Such a profound experience might just make this fuckin crap shoot of a life worth it, no?