thelibra

Dear Santa,

I have been a good GIRL.

It really wasn't my fault what happened at ASHLEY's Christmas party.
It was ELLEN who spiked the punch with too much APPLE MARTINI. I can't
help it if I drank 7 glasses. It was so good---smelled and tasted just
like DIESEL FUEL.

I thought it was funny when I put SUSAN's ASCOT on my head and danced
the FUNKY CHICKEN on the CHIPPENDALE while singing `I GOT YOUR MAN'. I
didn't mean to break ASHLEY's ADDING MACHINE and don't know why ASHLEY
would sue me for THEFT OF LIVESTOCK IN THE FOURTH DEGREE.

I don't remember calling LAUREN's wife a RETARDED SHEEP---even though
she looked like one with BLUE eye shadow and RED lipstick!

And when I threw up on JENN's husband's EAR, it was only because I ate
too much of that RICE A RONI.

After all that fun, I admit I was a little tired. So I fell asleep on
my way home and drove my M3 through my neighbor's BASEMENT. I don't
think that was any reason for my neighbor to call me a SHALLOW ZEBRA
and have me arrested for STUPIDITY!

So, Santa...here I sit in my jail cell on Christmas Eve, all MOUSY and
HAIRY. And I'm really not to blame for any of this BOUNCY stuff.
Please bring me what I want the most---bail money!

Sincerely and FRUITILY yours,
JAMIE (Really a nice GIRL!)

P.S. It's only 8 bucks!

Get yours here