Well, I've gone and done it.
First let me explain that it takes a lot to make me angry, but once I'm angry I'm FUCKING angry. I have been going through a divorce and I have been receiving a LOT of help from my friends and family. I've needed it. Now, the divorce should only be another month or two before it's final. I've got my own nice apartment. I've got a job, though I won't be officially working until the school year. I've been enforcing new rules with my daughters, which generally works.
I say generally, because they used to follow these rules without question. Now, they buck them constantly. Why? What changed? My Mother started coming over on the weekends. She only stays Friday nights and is not here for long, but while she's here she does everything she can to act like I'm staying at her home and my daughters are her children. She has invited neighborhood children who I have never met to come over and have a party in my home, without asking me if it's okay. She has told my daughters they don't need to follow my rules about no food in the living room and no going into my bedroom unless I give them permission (the bedroom is where I keep my expensive art supplies). She has ordered me around in my own home in front of my children, making my kids think that I'm just their sister or something...grandma's really the mother. Yesterday, she promised my daughters she would take them swimming in the morning. After I put the girls into bed (btw, at their age they need at least 11 hours of sleep in a 24 hour period...my mother doesn't seem to think that's true), my mother came to me and said "Now, I expect you to go swimming with us. We will be leaving for the pool first thing in the morning. If you don't go, I'm not taking them." I agreed, because I didn't want to be the monster who took away my daughter's trip to the pool. It didn't matter that I wouldn't have time to shave. It didn't matter that I didn't even know where the bottom half of my swimsuit was. I was going whether I liked it or not.
All this time, I managed to bottle my anger up. Occasionally, I would vent in private to friends and even family. I couldn't express how angry I was getting for her being such a rude and controlling house guest, because my mother has helped me out financially this summer. I don't want her to think I'm not grateful. But, at 5AM, she came to wake me up. And, she woke up my daughters. And, she made us get our swimsuits on. And, she trudged us to the pool. And, there, of course was the "Pool Closed" sign. And, I snapped. I fucking snapped...but this was the small snap...the bigger one comes later. I told her "Of COURSE it's closed, because pools don't normally open until at LEAST 9 AM. Because most people in their right minds wouldn't be waking up at this hour for a family swim!" We trudged back home with the crying, disappointed children. I started cleaning up in the kitchen. I was so angry, I knew I shouldn't look at her...I should get to washing dishes or something...focus my anger on housework.
Eventually, my mother starts berating me for being angry with her for no reason. THAT's when the big snap happened. I told her that I WAS angry, but for a reason. I told her that it was my home and you don't treat your host like a slave. Then, she went on to say that the girls were ready to be awake at that ungodly hour and that I needed to get used to it. And, I told her that was too fucking bad because they were 3 and 4 and I'm 26...and that I'M the mother...not the other way around. And, she said "FINE!" and got her stuff together and told my children they would never go swimming again because I would never let them do anything fun and she went off. So, my children cried and I'm a bitch.
There, I've gone and done it.
Now, it will no longer matter that I read to my children every night, that I color with them, pick them up and dance with them, or sing with them in the car. Now, I'll be the bitch who made grandma leave.
First let me explain that it takes a lot to make me angry, but once I'm angry I'm FUCKING angry. I have been going through a divorce and I have been receiving a LOT of help from my friends and family. I've needed it. Now, the divorce should only be another month or two before it's final. I've got my own nice apartment. I've got a job, though I won't be officially working until the school year. I've been enforcing new rules with my daughters, which generally works.
I say generally, because they used to follow these rules without question. Now, they buck them constantly. Why? What changed? My Mother started coming over on the weekends. She only stays Friday nights and is not here for long, but while she's here she does everything she can to act like I'm staying at her home and my daughters are her children. She has invited neighborhood children who I have never met to come over and have a party in my home, without asking me if it's okay. She has told my daughters they don't need to follow my rules about no food in the living room and no going into my bedroom unless I give them permission (the bedroom is where I keep my expensive art supplies). She has ordered me around in my own home in front of my children, making my kids think that I'm just their sister or something...grandma's really the mother. Yesterday, she promised my daughters she would take them swimming in the morning. After I put the girls into bed (btw, at their age they need at least 11 hours of sleep in a 24 hour period...my mother doesn't seem to think that's true), my mother came to me and said "Now, I expect you to go swimming with us. We will be leaving for the pool first thing in the morning. If you don't go, I'm not taking them." I agreed, because I didn't want to be the monster who took away my daughter's trip to the pool. It didn't matter that I wouldn't have time to shave. It didn't matter that I didn't even know where the bottom half of my swimsuit was. I was going whether I liked it or not.
All this time, I managed to bottle my anger up. Occasionally, I would vent in private to friends and even family. I couldn't express how angry I was getting for her being such a rude and controlling house guest, because my mother has helped me out financially this summer. I don't want her to think I'm not grateful. But, at 5AM, she came to wake me up. And, she woke up my daughters. And, she made us get our swimsuits on. And, she trudged us to the pool. And, there, of course was the "Pool Closed" sign. And, I snapped. I fucking snapped...but this was the small snap...the bigger one comes later. I told her "Of COURSE it's closed, because pools don't normally open until at LEAST 9 AM. Because most people in their right minds wouldn't be waking up at this hour for a family swim!" We trudged back home with the crying, disappointed children. I started cleaning up in the kitchen. I was so angry, I knew I shouldn't look at her...I should get to washing dishes or something...focus my anger on housework.
Eventually, my mother starts berating me for being angry with her for no reason. THAT's when the big snap happened. I told her that I WAS angry, but for a reason. I told her that it was my home and you don't treat your host like a slave. Then, she went on to say that the girls were ready to be awake at that ungodly hour and that I needed to get used to it. And, I told her that was too fucking bad because they were 3 and 4 and I'm 26...and that I'M the mother...not the other way around. And, she said "FINE!" and got her stuff together and told my children they would never go swimming again because I would never let them do anything fun and she went off. So, my children cried and I'm a bitch.
There, I've gone and done it.
Now, it will no longer matter that I read to my children every night, that I color with them, pick them up and dance with them, or sing with them in the car. Now, I'll be the bitch who made grandma leave.
VIEW 26 of 26 COMMENTS
Fuck grandma !