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thefox

Hope Mills, NC

Member Since 2006

Followers 86 Following 58

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Saturday Jun 02, 2007

Jun 2, 2007
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This morning I woke up in time to kiss LittleFierceOne before he headed off to work. I then settled into my normal routine of "sit on my ass until something better comes along." Usually this takes place in front my computer, but lately I've been at the mercy of Legend of Zelda. (SHIT THAT'S A LONG GAME!) I then managed to fuck up my ink cartridge (trying to refill it after printing out maps for Legend of Zelda - this is a bad habit...)

Finally, I realized that (yet again) I was spending another day sitting on my ass. My fat ass. Boo.

So, I put on a bathing suit, grabbed The Tipping Point, and headed to the pool to swim and read. It was lovely - I had forgotten how nice it is to just spend some time in my own head for a while. I truly think I'm afraid of my own mind - which is probably why I'm constantly talking. I don't want to be introspective for fear of what I might find - and perhaps that's just how extroverts are. However, floating in the pool by myself, just thinking and relaxing, felt good. After about an hour of floating, I read for a while, getting the mood-enhancing sunlight (without the burn - hooray cloud cover).

I really should spend more time with me. I'm a pretty interesting person. I think the darndest things. wink

Gushing:

SPOILERS! (Click to view)
Also, I've been thinking lately about how wonderful Alan is to me. Of course we don't get along all the time - there is a world of difference between us communication-wise, among other things - but I feel more loved than I have ever in my life. I feel genuinely loved... it doesn't feel obligatory or forced. It's a very happy, comfy feeling. I feel horrible for putting such a strain on him financially - it's stressing us both out - but he never seems to resent me for it. He's also not supporting me to use it against me, later, nor is he doing it to prove anything (unlike my mother or past friends/boyfriends, etc). Very seldom has anybody ever done anything for me, or given so much of themselves for me, just because. It's odd to be both depressingly broke and stressed out, and the happiest I've ever been. Kind of like seeing the sun poke through dark thunderclouds - which, incidentally, is the prettiest weather phenomenon next to snow.



Anyway, enough seriousness... Sadista and Marksy are headed this way!

VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
sadista:
Oh and p.s.--thanks again for spotting that tire cover! I told my mom we got her one and she was surprised and can't wait to see it. I'm sure she'll love it. smile
Jun 3, 2007
madman31:
You big geek! No wonder I like you! HAH!
Jun 5, 2007

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