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thefly

Member Since 2003

Followers 35 Following 102

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Tuesday Jan 29, 2008

Jan 28, 2008
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I had set a rule for myself... if I wasn't published by the time I was thirty I would hang up the typewriter, figuratively.

I was published, not the way I wanted to but whatareyagonnado? I was in the Writing (or is it Writer's?) Group here about to respond to a member when I thought it better to ramble on here.

I just wanted to get down somewhere: I have one published novel, three "finished" (with that meaning "done writing") manuscripts, two unfinished manuscripts, two manuscripts I want to start and about two dozen short stories. Is that work to be proud of in seven years time? Remember to add in a mental breakdown and that I can't afford to do this professionally yet.

However, I had lost sight. It bugs me. I have to work and coworkers are always loaning me books and movies and then want to talk about them. I'm sorry, bitch (I think to myself), I don't have free time when I'm off to curl up on the couch and stay there all day like you do. I've got a somewhere else I'm supposed to be that I'm trying to reach; see, I went to school (granted, I'm not trying to achieve in my area of study but that's beside the point) where you would rather watch D-War and Karate Dog with your free time instead of pursuing some greater endeavor. We're all not content with our lot in life. I'll get around to watching The Departed but allow me to find my way to escape the fuck away from you people.

Oh, anyways, lost site. I had settled. I tried in November to get a new manuscript completed but fell short. I can't rush this because I've been lost for some time, the errant short story sprouting from my fingertips through the keyboard. I dare not use the word "hope" for, to me, it is a four letter word that must never be uttered, but I believed something was going to happen for me... had to. I had not the wherewithal to do it myself. I still don't, but that doesn't mean I can't find peace in my torrid stories of horror, sex and moral ambiguity.

That's not completely true... I'm still an innocent at heart with a great fear of upsetting the universe so I'm careful how I weave my fictitious one.
anthea:
oh darling.. I would love to read something by you. Even in your blogs you are wonderful with words. Its always important to go for your dreams.. I really hope you doing that. Cause it doesnt sound like it.. :/ kiss Try to have a nice day?
Jan 28, 2008
raen:
sounds to me like you are pursuing your passion... as I have been. and this is supposed to make us happy. Money is not supposed to matter (BS of course). "Centralizing" as they call it... making that which really moves you central in your life is supposed to be one of the 9 keys to a happy life according to "How we Choose to Be Happy". It's a book my new therapist (I'm finally getting free therapy at least) asked me to read. I'm also reading "When Things Fall Apart". things are still falling apart though and I am not any happier about it. she might be worth something yet though, the jury is still out. if she can she help me change the way my mind is reduced to the capacity of a 2 year old when the heat is on, then she will have been worth my time.

I meant to read that halloween story of yours but I never did. Is there still a link?
Jan 29, 2008

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