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thebeliever

Santa Rosa

Member Since 2008

Followers 64 Following 279

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Just realized how long it's been since I blogged here-- freaking October.

Feb 23, 2014
5
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(Oops, just typed a bunch in the title box. Super-cool and slick that it looks exactly like the other box.) Yeah, the little sidebar on the side of the old design let me know who was updating, and now you kind of have to sift through shit to find it. Does this count as bitching about the newer site, or just facts? OK, moving on...

So I find myself sitting in a hotel about five minutes from where my cousin is getting married. I saw the ceremony, but left during the reception (after a few hours)-- I just wasn't feeling hot; and all those people sometimes make me feel uncomfortable. This doesn't always happen, but I feel like I have a low-level agoraphobia or something. Or maybe it's yet another wedding, and I am perpetually single. (I know, I know, ya gotta mingle; well, I usually do, when the opportunity arises.) I guess I hate to be around a lot of people if I can't be "up"-- it feels like I should be part of the action or get the hell out. Tbh, alcohol obviously helps these situations, lol, but I didn't feel like drinking.

After coming back to my hotel and lying down for awhile, I felt better; but not enough to go be around a bunch of dancing, drunk people.

Why am I so weird, O Lord-that-I-don't-believe-in? What in fuck? Anyone else out there feel me? The funny thing is, I'm basically a confident person, and I can make small talk with just about anyone. It has more to do with feeling almost stifled, and needing to get some air. It's not normal, I know that. I really don't know what it's about. Any ideas, fellow SG oddballs? You still out there?

I could update about some semi-romantic stuff, but frankly, my head hurts. Thanks for letting me vent!

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