thebeliever

Told two old friends this week that I pretty much didn't want to see them anymore, not for a loooong time. One is a guy who basically bailed on me last year, when my girl broke up with me and my Mom was dying. The motherfucker-- supposedly one of my best friends-- didn't so much as call me for five months, even though he knew what was going on. Too busy hanging out with his newish lawyer girlfriend, a bossy know-it-all (the bitch had the nerve to make fun of DEVO; no one makes fun of DEVO around me and gets away with it). I met up with him later, and he showed me pictures of what he'd been doing in that time that I was basically driving around alone or visiting my mom or sisters: ski trips, wine tasting, etc etc. Needless to say: what a douchebag. Just a phone call mixed in once a month would have made things OK. So he'd been trying to get back ahold of me, and my self-respect and perspecive has returned enough to give him the big Fuck You, in so many words. (It's not the first time he bailed in difficul times, something I've never done in return-- to me, that's what friendship is all about, the good times and the tough times, too).

The second friend is a whole 'nother story. Also no communication from him, who was going through his own hard times-- cheating wife, DUI, etc etc. But his response is to do some Seriously Stupid Shit, like abuse his meds, get a DIP, get another DUI, talk about how he's getting his life back together, then hang around some sleazy characters who would never call him on this self-destructive behavior. I talked to him a few weeks ago, and got the whole song-and-dance about seeing the light and improving himself. Then I called him two nights ago and he was drunk off his ass, talking about how he's "on his own program", as opposed to AA, etc. This despite losing his job. "I'm back!" he slurred. The fuck you are. Being around him is like being an extra in a movie about Vince Neil. No thanks, I've had enough. I'd offered the guy help and advice MANY times over the years. He's got to start by being honest with himself and others, and I've yet to see that happen.

As someone who values loyalty in friendship, I didn't take cutting my ties lightly. But cutting them is what I did. It's not like I have some new crowd to hang around with in Santa Rosa, either; I'm mostly alone still-- it's been hard to get to know people here. No wine tasting and ski trips, in other words. But I feel that I'm doing the right thing, as difficult as it is. The right thing usually pays off in the long run. I hope.

Fuck it. Giants are in the playoffs and Halloween time is here-- you've gotta enjoy what you can. Peace.