I have been feeling kind of weird latly. Its almost like depression but not quite there. Empty? Lost? Broken? I dont really know. But there is definitely some spinning in my head along with the rat. Some of it i know is just me feeling alone. I miss having someone i care about to hold and to talk to when i feel like this. Someone that will be there when i can and can physicly be there when i ask. I think that i am also afraid of trying to get someone like that again. It is probably still jessica affecting me, but not comepletly. I'v always had that fear somewhat. All of that could explain the lost type feeling. I'm searching for somthing that gets my spirts up and motivates me to actully do things with my life i guess. Apart from just going to work of course. I do have all you guys here and a few others in real life to help, but its not the same. I still need my friends for sure. But i need someone closer then a friend i think...I think there is more on my mind right now but i just cant really think of what it is, let alone how to say it..more later?
thearcanecircle:
"i'm walking down the street alone on a rainy day, watching shadows pass me by, paridigmmmmm, i'm broken, getting overtaken by the non-existant, forgotten by reality, and i cry"
chi:
oh yeah, thanks...had to pick one with the dishes in the background huh?? 
