I hate this...
I'm having the most difficult time to this point... or at least it feels worse than anything before.
I cried for the first time in a year, I had a really bad anxiety attack and just caught myself from collapsing...
There's too much going on, and I just want to be needed in this moment, wanted, and held...
I have the most awkward thing going on with this girl... we're great friends, but lately I feel like I can't even talk to her... so I don't even have it in me to try to see her to cuddle... I can't handle the rejection... even though it would be for legitimate reasons and wouldn't be her fault... but I just wish she would call me right now... text me... something.
I really need to be held so I can feel like everything is alright. Everything is alright in her arms... better than, even. ..... Sometimes, toughing it out alone sucks real bad no matter how positive I am trying to be...
I cried with my (almost) 7 year old the other day about his mother. It was the most heartbreaking thing ever...
She's so sick... She just got diagnosed with 3 more diseases...She may never get better, but.. there's hope she can get treatment to LIVE again... She's my best friend, and her fianc is awesome and her roommate who's a medic... we're all trying so hard to hold everything together... and it's falling apart and I can't do a fucking thing...
I feel so useless.. I'm having nightmares again... crying again for the first time in over a year or so...anxiety attacks that slap you in the face and then destroy your body...? I'm so close to breaking, but I won't... I can't.. My son needs me more than ever... I just wish there was something I could do... I'd trade in an instant. No matter what. It shouldn't be her...
Just.. let me have it, let me take it all away and make it better. Let me be sick for her... Let me be sick for all of us... Just let her be...She's done nothing to deserve this, and she deserves a beautiful life with our son...
My poor little man......I've got to be in work in a few hours... and wake up time is 4 hours away..
Please, my Goddesses, My Gods, please embrace her and lift this weight... I will carry it.
I'm having the most difficult time to this point... or at least it feels worse than anything before.
I cried for the first time in a year, I had a really bad anxiety attack and just caught myself from collapsing...
There's too much going on, and I just want to be needed in this moment, wanted, and held...
I have the most awkward thing going on with this girl... we're great friends, but lately I feel like I can't even talk to her... so I don't even have it in me to try to see her to cuddle... I can't handle the rejection... even though it would be for legitimate reasons and wouldn't be her fault... but I just wish she would call me right now... text me... something.
I really need to be held so I can feel like everything is alright. Everything is alright in her arms... better than, even. ..... Sometimes, toughing it out alone sucks real bad no matter how positive I am trying to be...
I cried with my (almost) 7 year old the other day about his mother. It was the most heartbreaking thing ever...
She's so sick... She just got diagnosed with 3 more diseases...She may never get better, but.. there's hope she can get treatment to LIVE again... She's my best friend, and her fianc is awesome and her roommate who's a medic... we're all trying so hard to hold everything together... and it's falling apart and I can't do a fucking thing...
I feel so useless.. I'm having nightmares again... crying again for the first time in over a year or so...anxiety attacks that slap you in the face and then destroy your body...? I'm so close to breaking, but I won't... I can't.. My son needs me more than ever... I just wish there was something I could do... I'd trade in an instant. No matter what. It shouldn't be her...
Just.. let me have it, let me take it all away and make it better. Let me be sick for her... Let me be sick for all of us... Just let her be...She's done nothing to deserve this, and she deserves a beautiful life with our son...
My poor little man......I've got to be in work in a few hours... and wake up time is 4 hours away..
Please, my Goddesses, My Gods, please embrace her and lift this weight... I will carry it.