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the_sween

Malden

Member Since 2011

Followers 56 Following 125

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Saturday Mar 17, 2012

Mar 17, 2012
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I have released the pressure, and it is venting here.

SPOILERS! (Click to view)

This girl is amazing. I'm so sad that I don't remember almost all of tme her and I spent together about five years ago... It's a shame... She's been telling me stories about ME because I don't remember any of it. I feel awful, I cried in her arms tonight because I'm doomed for the rest of my life to deal with this memory issue. But she said it's okay, that she's here and we'll fix it...

I have always had issues with blackouts, but I'm missing YEARS... not just a day or two here and there... YEARS of my life, gone...

She is so understanding, and so loving, and I can see it in her eyes when she speaks to me of how strong her feelings are for me, as they have held all the years she hasn't seen me.
I wish I could remember... I want to remember...

This stupid head injury is really getting to me, and I'm so afraid of having the blackouts continue (as they have ALWAYS) and get worse (as they are)... I'm so afraid I'm going to black out and hurt her somehow...

I asked her to tell me about me and this is what she said: "You never liked to talk about yourself, but I know the man that you are; kind, loving, caring... A good man that will take his shirt off his back for someone. You will listen if someone needs to talk, you're a very good father to your boy, you're handsome, you got a temper but it only comes out when someone pushes you. You're the man of my dreams, always have always will be, you don't realize that you're the best man I have ever met and there's nothing you could do to disappoint me." I sure do hope she's right... because she deserves to smile, and I want to be the one to make her smile.

She's amazing, and I feel so strongly for her... my subconscious does know the truth, and when I read her aura and her energy and come in contact with her... something inside me fires up like nothing I've ever felt. I want this to last, I know it will...

I don't remember the last time I saw someone look into my eyes like she does, and I see the passion and the love simmering inside of her, waiting for me to catch up so it can burst out.

It means so much to me to have such an understanding friend, but not just a friend, my companion...
I told her tonight I wanted to do everything right and that I would not ask her to be my girlfriend yet because I want to take her on a date first. I want everything to be traditional, and special... so that if I can't remember, at least I'll know somewhere inside I gave her the best of everything I can give.

I want nothing to come between us. Nothing. As it stands, the way everything has fallen into place between her an I in the fist place this time around... It's 100% meant to be, this I feel, this I know..

As I continue to heal, I know she will stand by me every step of the way and I couldn't ask for a better thing in this world from a woman.

I do believe I've stumbled upon something very very special, and I don't think I want it to stop. In fact, I know...


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