the_minx

Ok. I give up. I'm throwin' in the towel.

All I've ever tried doing for the past 3-4 years is pretend to be this emotionally-guarded, strong, closed-off, "you can't date me, I'm too good for comittment" girl....and frankly, I'm sick and tired of it.

I hate coming home to an empty bed. I hate asking someone to cuddle with a price or an alterior motive. I hate having no one to share my dreams with. I hate having no one who truly, TRULY gives a fuck.

I'm so sad right now, it's pathetic. I want a relationship. Something meaningful. Someone who's actually willing to put in some fucking effort and tough it out with me. Someone who is accepting of my flaws, because god knows I have many.

I want a COMPANION.

I'm so lonley....and it's getting so old. It's like a broken record player.

Here I am. Vulnerable. Crying. Opening my heart to someone who wants in. I promise I won't push you away like I always do.

Please love me.

>>>----♥----->

* * * * * *

Stone Sour
"Bother"[/ii]

Wish I was too dead to cry
My self-affliction fades
Stones to throw at my creator
Masochists to which I cater
You don't need to bother;
I don't need to be
I'll keep slipping farther
But once I hold on,
I won't let go 'til it bleeds

Wish I was too dead to care
If indeed I cared at all
Never had a voice to protest
So you fed me shit to digest
I wish I had a reason;
my flaws are open season
For this, I gave up trying
One good turn deserves my dying

You don't need to bother;
I don't need to be
I'll keep slipping farther
But once I hold on,
I won't let go 'til it bleeds

Wish I'd died instead of lived
A zombie hides my face
Shell forgotten
with its memories
Diaries left
with cryptic entries

And you don't need to bother;
I don't need to be
I'll keep slipping farther
But once I hold on,
I won't let go 'til it bleeds

You don't need to bother;
I don't need to be
I'll keep slipping farther
But once I hold on:
I'll never live down my deceit