I just got to talk to my best friend. He's stationed in Turkey at the moment, and I miss him dearly. It was awesome to get to talk with him and get all caught up on what's been going on in both of our lives.
I was so relieved because I was finally able to tell someone about secrets that I've had to keep to myself for a long time, without fear of reprisal or judgement. I've been harboring them inside of me for so long they were starting to eat away at my soul.
I wish Joseph would come home. My little brother that I never had (by only two months
). I need him now in my life more than ever.
He looked at this particular site and saw my picture, and he was astonished, as he put it. I haven't had anyone say "You look so grown-up!" to me in a long time.
I miss being a kid, having a huge backyard with apple trees, and a fort that my brother, Joseph and I built ourselves. I grew up in a smallish town, lived in a huge house on a hill, a hill upon which I slayed many dragons and rescued many damsels...(I was always disdainful towards the fact that the women in the stories were always the rescuees rather than the rescuers). I guess I already had elements of feminism appearing back then, now that I look back.
I miss my huge basement where I would seek refuge from the rest of the world, where I would hide away with my video games and my sketchbooks. Legos were another one of my favorite past-times. My brother always had his friends over, and I would spar with them, a lot of the times winning, (though I think they went easy on me most of the time).
I will never get those days back...They were the happiest times of my life...The most blissful.
I would give anything to feel that way again, to feel like I belong somewhere. I feel so lost here in this big city, so insignificant. I have friends, but they're far away, out of reach. Finding comfort in the arms of my boyfriend only offers temporary relief. I care for him deeply, but I need something more.
I want to be surrounded by my friends again. I want to feel comfortable with myself again. I'm a very physical person...I need something tangible, something I can touch.
I miss my old life, but I've made decisions since then that have made it so that I can never go back. I must accept that, but at the same time I can't but help feel resentful towards losing all that I had. I have to let go.
I think I've been looking back too much. I need to start looking forward and realizing my potential. Realize that I'm much better than what I've been, that I can do so much more than what I've done.
I think I'm finally starting to work things out, after ten months of living here, I'm finally starting to get used to the rhythm of this city.
I truly am a small-town girl trying to adjust to the big-city life.
Watch out world, Tara has arrived! *rawr*
I was so relieved because I was finally able to tell someone about secrets that I've had to keep to myself for a long time, without fear of reprisal or judgement. I've been harboring them inside of me for so long they were starting to eat away at my soul.
I wish Joseph would come home. My little brother that I never had (by only two months
). I need him now in my life more than ever.
He looked at this particular site and saw my picture, and he was astonished, as he put it. I haven't had anyone say "You look so grown-up!" to me in a long time.
I miss being a kid, having a huge backyard with apple trees, and a fort that my brother, Joseph and I built ourselves. I grew up in a smallish town, lived in a huge house on a hill, a hill upon which I slayed many dragons and rescued many damsels...(I was always disdainful towards the fact that the women in the stories were always the rescuees rather than the rescuers). I guess I already had elements of feminism appearing back then, now that I look back.
I miss my huge basement where I would seek refuge from the rest of the world, where I would hide away with my video games and my sketchbooks. Legos were another one of my favorite past-times. My brother always had his friends over, and I would spar with them, a lot of the times winning, (though I think they went easy on me most of the time).
I will never get those days back...They were the happiest times of my life...The most blissful.
I would give anything to feel that way again, to feel like I belong somewhere. I feel so lost here in this big city, so insignificant. I have friends, but they're far away, out of reach. Finding comfort in the arms of my boyfriend only offers temporary relief. I care for him deeply, but I need something more.
I want to be surrounded by my friends again. I want to feel comfortable with myself again. I'm a very physical person...I need something tangible, something I can touch.
I miss my old life, but I've made decisions since then that have made it so that I can never go back. I must accept that, but at the same time I can't but help feel resentful towards losing all that I had. I have to let go.
I think I've been looking back too much. I need to start looking forward and realizing my potential. Realize that I'm much better than what I've been, that I can do so much more than what I've done.
I think I'm finally starting to work things out, after ten months of living here, I'm finally starting to get used to the rhythm of this city.
I truly am a small-town girl trying to adjust to the big-city life.
Watch out world, Tara has arrived! *rawr*