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the_cheat

Member Since 2004

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Wednesday May 19, 2004

May 19, 2004
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For some reason or another, I haven't felt passionate or lustful after my current boyfriend. I just really haven't had the urge to commit any kind of sexual act (besides masturbation).

I guess I'm beginning to see sex as something a little more sacred. At least for me.

This also has become a good way for me to judge how I really feel about my boyfriend...there's no sex, no physical crap getting in the way making me all swoony and shit, but just simply... there's affection. REAL affection.

His words may not be like a poets, and god knows he's not perfect (neither am I), but when we talked last night, our voices greatly slurred and faltering, I had a drunken epiphany.

This guy standing before me, (or swaying as the case was), is a boy struggling to be a man, a late-bloomer who's had issues all of his own with being cheated on and not really discovering girls until he turned 18.

He's also struggling to deal with how he feels about me, how he loves me.

I attacked him last night (in the GOOD way), and sweet Lady Freedom, we made out, and it wasn't just lust.

It was something more...something that runs deeper than the skin-deep lust.

And good god, it felt wonderful to feel my heart beat like that again.

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