the_baron

mmmmmmm, fooooooood

and regarding the note that i didn't respond to because i've been freaking out all over the place:
yes. i am going to go. not immediately, mind you, because technically, no, i'm not READY. but the course has been plotted.

it's amazing.
my pictures turned out so shitty, but we'll get together and i'll show you.
and i'll tell you about the meal i ate at st. andrews. holy shit!

Killer Sushi, my man! Thanks for making that whole thing happen. We'll HAVE to do it again soon, so Mara can enjoy it too.

Dude, don't worry about it. As your official SG youger brother, I'll make sure none of these peeps get too chatty. You may be suprised to learn this, but I am quite adept at the arts of stealth and body removal. Just give me the word, and they're sleeping with the fishes.

I think they know its less convenient to clean up. Then they hit you with the shigrin look...how can you be angry if they have a puppy dog look on their face after all?
My poodle once expressed her discontent by pooping on the sofa.
Cats not only lack the decency to feel bad about it, they refuse to even accept responsibility for their actions! My cat blames either the other cats or me. My one and ONLY cat....

Thanks for the sushi Mr. Choppiesan.

thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

dude, you rock! sorry we weren't much help with the rolling and left it up to you. are you coming down for the taurus party on the 1st of may? may (hehe) seen you then.

actually i dont have wasabi.... do you need some?

I suppose I should return the favor, no?

I'm really into the swing/beach music right now. Not really sure why, I think I'm getting into a tiki kind of attitude. I think you should do less thinking and more licking.

P.S. POP

[Edited on Apr 07, 2004 7:34AM]

music is what i love... if i don't have music i'm totally bored. a weird thing though.. i have found myself listening to talk radio more and more lately (105.3) you know howard stern and the likes.
so, is anyone bringing edamame.. those are those salty pea things right? mmmm what about wasabi, maybe wasabi will bring wasabi. hehe

Ask missd to help you, she is graduating from cosmetology school next week.

I told Mara the good news regarding spiders, and to her credit she has been very brave with them recently. No more screaming, or insisting I banish them. (I think she might even like capturing and then releasing them.) Thanks for coming clean on the legend of recurring infection. It takes a brave man to admit when he's wrong. Thank goodness I never am.

It's always fun to hang with you, so we'll have to keep in touch even when you go to NY. Hopefully we'll see each other before then, though.

t

I hate it when a professor takes off to do some other thing and our class is neglected, but we are supposed to know what's going on. Like, get real. No the exam itself is not 11 hours long, we do get to take breaks between the exams. Apparently, there is written and oral exams as well as interviews. Haven't quite figured it all out yet. It's the never ending story, without the weird flying dog. I was just noticing your movie favorites, Breakfast and Charade - just love them. I think Audrey is the bomb. toodles

what's everyone doing up so damn early today! hmmm, or is everyone went to bed really late today?
enquiring minds want to know.....

i've done the staring at popcorn ceilings before. it's like the same thing with clouds, making shapes out of them.
i'll do that with anything, though - the grain in wood, the texture on walls, the clouds of course, patterns on fabric...
it's fun but eventually starts fucking with my depth perception

good thing you decided against drawing the connections - those ceilings are a bitch to paint over!!!

thanks for the comment you left, explaining your ideas a little more thoroughly. i think the most important thing to me, besides being sure the 'golf balls' can breathe, is keeping the jar together... i think i said that yesterday, or something to that effect.
i don't have a problem being away from my mother. i think the difficult thing, coming back, was that i'd already been away for six years. i can relate to your disenchantment with current status and feeling as though you haven't reached what you were aiming for at one point in time... i worked in high school, felt bored with school until i was assigned to alternative education, went straight from home into a housewife-type role and have just worked since then. FIVE YEARS AGO this idea to come back to dallas, work until i could go to new york, and attend the CIA got into my head. FIVE YEARS. what have i done since then? lived my life away and made sure to pay the bills.
i'm ready. as i said, also, i embrace "growth"... i don't know - i think a better word is evolution, but it's contextually inappropriate. and i'm honestly not sure if it's what i want to do. i like to plan and everything, i like to dream, but ultimately my happiness depends on my ability to appreciate what's going on and to make the best of what i have and to know when to stretch for more.
i am most afraid of fear - isn't that funny? it is THE most inhibitive emotion in my opinion - it's a trap.

don't worry about your family and stuff while you're out there doing your thing. it sounds to me that you have a good idea in there about what's going on, where you want to go, your limits/standards and all that. keep moving.

i'm happy to have shared with you.

i will certainly take pictures of the campus for you to see.
getting the film developed is another story (kidding, i'll have my mother's husband do it for me - he may very well insist)

talk soon.

sorry about the meridian room. it's cool, though. it was all laid-back, a little loud sitting where we were. smoked too many cigarettes.

it is past my bedtime and i have to get to sleep for tomorrow yum.

fiveyears?
i'vebeenpayingthebills and livingdaytoday and workingadeskjobwithnumbersandfluffystickfigures. i've beenkeepingmyheadabovewater and dealingwithinterpersonalrelations. i've beenaspiringtobe and practicingsomethingatanygivenmoment. i've beendreamingofsomelifethatithoughticouldcreate when reallyit'screatedsomewhereformealreadyinspaceandtime.
i am high. please forgive me.
it is projected that i will fall in love with the city. i mentioned to cupofkarma tonight that i waver so between the lifeinthefastlane and takeiteasy.
and justtoclarify - that's in five days haha!

i'm excited and focusing to keep calm. every time i venture into a city i'm unfamiliar with (even when i'm exploring my own town for newness) it evolves into this 'life changing event'... i sometimes feel very aware of it, sometimes i think i expect too much. there is purpose to it, even if only the silly one i assign myself.

it's not at all that i don't like pastry. i'm a girl who can appreciate baking and pastry making, oh yes.
my thing with any kind of food preparation is how it seems to reach all of our senses...
i mean, we could categorize them, sure.
i am just so interested in nutrition and pairing and ... i guess, in my opinion, culinary vs. pastry is almost like science vs art, though they both intricately involve each other.
i think the two practices serve somewhat different functions.
maybe it's evident of my nature, but i am also interested in the science of mainsustenancetypefood because of my inclination to nurture people. pastry is kindof a bonus and beautiful in another way.


i dunno. it's just my choice, i guess. and i never really had any struggle with whether or not that's what i wanted to focus on - of those two particular choices anyway



p.s. i think it's unanimous amongst the girls whose company i enjoyed this evening, we'd like to call you by your first name.
that's what we'll do.

[Edited on Apr 03, 2004 12:45AM]

thanks...
right?


no peace without

i'm happy to have a forum to vent and that it isn't misdirected... sure sometimes misinterpreted, but such is the nature of communication.

i really appreciate the pep, mister. really really.

mmm

a little elaboration:

it IS hard going home and the initial transition, as you can obviously relate, was difficult. my mother and i have had an awkward relationship my entire life because i feel like i am the acceptable accident - details perhaps at another time. but i think that everyone's relationship with their parents is as unique as our relationships with other people can be.
but i love my mother too, there are many aspects of her character that i admire and aspire to portray. there are also lessons i've learned from her regarding how NOT to behave, but i must trust that she's always done the best she could as a human being.
at this point in our relationship, that's the battle she and i are fighting - that i will do the best i can and she cannot live my life for me. of course they want what they think is best for us, of course they want to save us mistakes similar to ones they made or witnessed (and you know, sometimes i wish i could learn from other peoples' mistakes, as well.) she likes not to worry and i think i'm having a difficult time understanding why she is so much more worried while i'm in close proximity to her as opposed to what she exhibited when i was living on my own.
but again, as i said, my appreciation for the gesture she's made, welcoming me back into the nest while i alleviate some of the baggage i have before flying away again, is overwhelming and certainly outweighs any of the annoyance i experience from our miniscule amount of conflict.

i mentioned that i'd read the anecdote you sent me before - the metaphorical dealio
sometimes so many little things are overwhelming, though... you know. think about how it felt with the sand compressed around the golf balls


i think that a person's character is accentuated in adversity.
and i'm okay, you know. i just wanted to close the door for a minute and collect myself. when i feel overwhelmed, i don't want to waste myself on other people.
it's not the strongest personality trait i possess, the reclusive nature when under pressure, but it's the way i deal - i focus on the jar itself.

i certainly accept that i don't belong necessarily in one place, doing one thing - i am a lover of change and an "experience junkie"... i don't think i'd be happy with one specific anything but still i struggle with challenge versus contentedness (which is not necessarily complacence)
i honestly believe that this is "normal"

and i am not trying to be looking because it is possibly naive for me to think i know what i'm looking for, i think it would leave me more jaded than anything. i'm trying to just DO stuff, to BE ALIVE, to be aware of my own ambition and progress, you know.
go go go
and hey, that can translate into so much at once ... and i like to sweat, soooo... sometimes i feel a little sticky.

if any of this is a garble of junk just tell me. i will try to explain if i can even understand where i was going.
heh.
i have got to get back to work now! hahah!

thank you for giving a shit, yo.
thanks for inspiring me to rant into your journal.

Gag me with a spoon. You do know that all the peeps you see in stores now were all made in the 1970's right? I shit you not. Ok, maybe a little bit...

I like to save my peeps for the summer, then use firecrackers to blow the shit out of them. That's just me.