thatdykeliz

My sweet sweet girlfriend is coming to see me soon! The last time we saw each other in person was over a year and a half ago. We'd already decided we were falling in love and had talked a lot about sleeping together, but once she got here, it just never happened.

Not for lack of lust, really. But she has lupus and was on some pretty powerful pain drugs, and I was on that wonderful libido-murdering Paxil, so we never got down.

In retrospect, that is, in some ways, a good thing. It let us see each other in person and get comfortable with that -- she slept with me in my bed every night during her last visit, and we cuddled the hell out of each other -- and it also gave us the confidence in each other to work out a lot of boundary and safer sex and relationship issues over the phone and in e-mail.

We jointly wrote up our poly relationship guidelines, regarding me and her and Hubby and our family and home life and all...she even showed the guidelines to her mom and dad, and I adore them, because after they saw how careful and thoughtful we were all three being about this, as opposed to rushing into a Jerry Springer-esque Threesome of Doom, they have embraced me and mine as family.

However...as confident as I feel about how we'll do as far as getting along and working out any (no pun intended) kinks in the relationship, I *am* a little worried about the first time we have sex. Is it possible to spontaneously combust from repressed lust? I'm terrified of being dorky and nervous and too eager the first time.

The next few weeks will be filled with getting the apartment rearranged for her visit (at the same time that I'm getting the bedroom retro-fitted as my office to start doing phone sex full-time on Keen.com) and stocking up on sex toys and gloves and lube (lots and lots of lube) and worrying about these issues and more...