WHAT WHAT!
The coolest thing happened! thee COOLEST. teh coolies. !!!
See, there's this boy that graduated from my school two years before me and he added me to ICQ about the middle of October.. (cause it's NOVEMBER now!) and we talked everyday for HOURS. On occasion, into the early hours of the morning. I didn't have the slightest crush until we first hung out...
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The coolest thing happened! thee COOLEST. teh coolies. !!!
See, there's this boy that graduated from my school two years before me and he added me to ICQ about the middle of October.. (cause it's NOVEMBER now!) and we talked everyday for HOURS. On occasion, into the early hours of the morning. I didn't have the slightest crush until we first hung out...
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I feel really hopeless and destroyed.
I cheated on and broke up with the love of my life.. But was it even working anyways? Those two years with her were amazing... but near the end there was nothing to hold on to except memories and the hope things will get better.. I broke her heart when I cheated on her. I love the idea of...
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I cheated on and broke up with the love of my life.. But was it even working anyways? Those two years with her were amazing... but near the end there was nothing to hold on to except memories and the hope things will get better.. I broke her heart when I cheated on her. I love the idea of...
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VIEW 7 of 7 COMMENTS
seska1:
ohhhhhhhhhh! ((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))
ms:
Pain is a definite mainstay of life. Whether it be from love, family, money, stubbing your toe; it will always be there. I used to dwell over the pain in my life and always wonder where I (or the other person) went wrong. The fact is that in a relationship both parties are at fault for ending that chapter of their lives. I'm not saying that it's always a 50/50 split. That is never the case and even in the least acrimonious of splits there is always someone who wanted it more than the other.
The eventuality of pain is what makes it hard to concentrate on keeping the feet in motion once the hurdle has been cleared (to use a metaphor that has been run to death, pun intended.) Most of us forget that (here comes the same bad metaphor) life is a race but it's not a 50-yard dash. It's more like a marathon being run on an oval track. We can make it through the first few laps fine. The worst thing we have to worry about is whether or not there are going to be enough Crunchberries in the Cap'n Crunch cereal (of which there never are enough.)
Then we get to that point in our life where some of us deal with friends moving away. We come to understand divorce, death, anger (the real kind, not the mad about Crunchberries type), betrayal, and ultimately loss. The two factors we never really learn to cope with are love and pain. We can cope with anger. Lust is easily taken care of (either you fuck or you masturbate---sometimes both.) Happiness is fleeting for some and a constant presence for others. The same goes for depression.
But no one, no matter how much they can elaborate on the subjects, can understand love or pain. So instead of understanding we normally go one of two routes with those demons. We either embrace them or we shut them out. Some people try to shut out both at the same time while some only let one through and keep the oher at the curb (judging from most of journals here a large majority of the people here embrace pain, which in itself, is actually very diheartening.)
I can't say that this post is going to provide any answers. I'm not one to come to if you ever happen to look for any answers (I'm a big embracer of pain--so sue me.) But if there is one thing I can is to listen and let you know what I think about a situation. I try to stay away from the "Everything's gonna be allright" type of explanations. There are more than enough people out there who will provide those. I just provide two-and-a-half cents worth of drivel and hope that it makes sense.
If it makes you feel any better: You are downright fucking beautiful. Booyah.
p.s. Please excuse any spelling errors, grammatical mistakes, or missed letters. I didn't have time to proofread.
The eventuality of pain is what makes it hard to concentrate on keeping the feet in motion once the hurdle has been cleared (to use a metaphor that has been run to death, pun intended.) Most of us forget that (here comes the same bad metaphor) life is a race but it's not a 50-yard dash. It's more like a marathon being run on an oval track. We can make it through the first few laps fine. The worst thing we have to worry about is whether or not there are going to be enough Crunchberries in the Cap'n Crunch cereal (of which there never are enough.)
Then we get to that point in our life where some of us deal with friends moving away. We come to understand divorce, death, anger (the real kind, not the mad about Crunchberries type), betrayal, and ultimately loss. The two factors we never really learn to cope with are love and pain. We can cope with anger. Lust is easily taken care of (either you fuck or you masturbate---sometimes both.) Happiness is fleeting for some and a constant presence for others. The same goes for depression.
But no one, no matter how much they can elaborate on the subjects, can understand love or pain. So instead of understanding we normally go one of two routes with those demons. We either embrace them or we shut them out. Some people try to shut out both at the same time while some only let one through and keep the oher at the curb (judging from most of journals here a large majority of the people here embrace pain, which in itself, is actually very diheartening.)
I can't say that this post is going to provide any answers. I'm not one to come to if you ever happen to look for any answers (I'm a big embracer of pain--so sue me.) But if there is one thing I can is to listen and let you know what I think about a situation. I try to stay away from the "Everything's gonna be allright" type of explanations. There are more than enough people out there who will provide those. I just provide two-and-a-half cents worth of drivel and hope that it makes sense.
If it makes you feel any better: You are downright fucking beautiful. Booyah.
p.s. Please excuse any spelling errors, grammatical mistakes, or missed letters. I didn't have time to proofread.
It's my first time using professional bleach on my hair. My land, and I have no one to help me so I did the back all my myself. Sweet jeebus I hope I didn't miss any spots. And I hope my hair doesn't fall out.
Here's to bleached roots! *holds up applicator bottle*
I just got my hair cut too by Michelle :hearts: She's great....
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Here's to bleached roots! *holds up applicator bottle*
I just got my hair cut too by Michelle :hearts: She's great....
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VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
posh:
oh my goodness. you are the cutest thing ever.
housedj:
You're even hotter because you pumped up Frank Sinatra.
Canadian gurls rock!
Canadian gurls rock!
Hmh.
Wanted to go to the movie store and rent a sappy love movie to watch by myself so I could feel more sappy and alone.. But alas, the movie gallery is closed for le nuit. So I'm watching trusty ol' Disney ::Lady and the Tramp;; [[he's a tramp, but I love him. Breaks a new heart everyday]] {{where there is baby, there is milk...
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Wanted to go to the movie store and rent a sappy love movie to watch by myself so I could feel more sappy and alone.. But alas, the movie gallery is closed for le nuit. So I'm watching trusty ol' Disney ::Lady and the Tramp;; [[he's a tramp, but I love him. Breaks a new heart everyday]] {{where there is baby, there is milk...
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VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
seska1:
Me??? No way, YOU are! 
asreal1:
pictou county??!? no way. my dad was born in trenton and moved to new glasgow. or was it the other way around. either way, i've been there a lot.
And our hearts will beat as one...
-----------------------
Here I come in my '57, She's a real old rider.
Paint perfection, with her custom engine, and her black flames.
V8 engine with fuel injection.. 0o0o00o00ooo0o0o
-0--0-------------00---------------00--------------0--------0-0----\
okay, so i'm really hyped up on old 80's music right now..And I know they dont fit.. but... \m/ WOOO.
oh god..
Billy Ocean
Billy Idol
Billy Joel
Billy...
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-----------------------
Here I come in my '57, She's a real old rider.
Paint perfection, with her custom engine, and her black flames.
V8 engine with fuel injection.. 0o0o00o00ooo0o0o
-0--0-------------00---------------00--------------0--------0-0----\
okay, so i'm really hyped up on old 80's music right now..And I know they dont fit.. but... \m/ WOOO.
oh god..
Billy Ocean
Billy Idol
Billy Joel
Billy...
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VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
kristovdesign:
hey teresa,
80's music enh? hmm
where in canada are you from?
80's music enh? hmm
where in canada are you from?
kristovdesign:
im from saskatchewan. it's only about 3000 kms away, hmm, lets hang out sometime
hahaha...
anyways, your super cute. i like the bright hair
Chris
[Edited on Sep 30, 2003]
hahaha...
anyways, your super cute. i like the bright hair
Chris
[Edited on Sep 30, 2003]
Today = Tuesday, the last one of the month.. therefore our class recieves an hour and 1/2 lunch rather than the usual 30mins! YES! Trent drove me down the street to Sobeys, what a DOLL. I'd think he likes me, but I think he's gay! maybe.. hell, I dunno! Regardless.. no! haha
Bought Teriaki Vegetable Hot Pockets for lunch and two peaches
They were good,...
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Bought Teriaki Vegetable Hot Pockets for lunch and two peaches
They were good,... Read More
azrael_abyss:
you're so pretty!
brokenalice:
there's no such thing as too red!!!
So it's time for a new journal entry.. I'm assuming you all thought I died there.. lol, whoever reads this! *nonone*
I got my hairdressers licence today and bought professional hair dye.. redkens new Metro line.. POP violet/red.. oh shit my hair better NOT fall out. :\
School is rough, but I met an awesome guy :hearts: Chris-- and he rocks my socks. Life's funny...
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I got my hairdressers licence today and bought professional hair dye.. redkens new Metro line.. POP violet/red.. oh shit my hair better NOT fall out. :\
School is rough, but I met an awesome guy :hearts: Chris-- and he rocks my socks. Life's funny...
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tadzi:
I was wondering and i do read this
I'm loving the St.Johns Wort.
I didnt take any yesterday because i went to the cottage and didn't take it with me.. and last night I started to get down and crying.. it was insane.
i KNOW that BLA BLA BLA it takes so long to work and you shouldnt notice results immediately... but hell, I don't care - it's probably all in my head...
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I didnt take any yesterday because i went to the cottage and didn't take it with me.. and last night I started to get down and crying.. it was insane.
i KNOW that BLA BLA BLA it takes so long to work and you shouldnt notice results immediately... but hell, I don't care - it's probably all in my head...
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VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
aries:
i know everyone gets in their little clicks. people who do that, theyre doing that to be stronger. you know, they all dont know what theyre doing either. no one does. the teachers dont either. and yes, if it works better YOUR way do it your way. but you have to still do it their way while you are in school and state board at least. Your way always is the best way. i do everything MY way. i never do anything from what they taught me there. youll get past that. and it will seem like the smallest thing in your life. how many hours are required there? here it is 1600.
aries:
thats what i mean, they get in clicks because of insecurities. oh i got rid of that hair a while ago. i just threw red all over it. the dark pink would bleed into the white everytime i washed it i had to put bleach on all the ends again. i did it mostly for the pictures it wasnt real practical. not that the red is. i still have to dye my hair once a week. 
im afraid nothing keeps it in. sulfate free shampoo helps. 
im afraid nothing keeps it in. sulfate free shampoo helps. I bought some St.Johns wort today..
I wish someone would sit down and talk with me. I guess i have to talk with myself, which i suppose is best. But right now I would like to feel like someone cares about my wellbeing enough to actually listen... because I'm really trying to be happy, I'm trying to not say any negative things, reverse all negative...
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I wish someone would sit down and talk with me. I guess i have to talk with myself, which i suppose is best. But right now I would like to feel like someone cares about my wellbeing enough to actually listen... because I'm really trying to be happy, I'm trying to not say any negative things, reverse all negative...
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VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
swen:
There's surely power in positive thinking. But it's very important not to put too much pressure in it. Not everybody (certainly not me) can use this method in every situation without some good experience with it. There are always setbacks and youll at some points doubt whether youll ever make it. But if you take it easy on you, you will.
Have faith in yourself, youre on the right way!
swen
Have faith in yourself, youre on the right way!
swen
the_bear:
This might be something you already know, but St John's Wort takes about a month to kick in, so you got to be patient...
I'm posting because you wanted a diet buddy, if you want to swap stories, habits etc my email is paulabear792@aol.com, I'm currently seeing a psychologist about eating and ither shit, write to me if you like
I'm posting because you wanted a diet buddy, if you want to swap stories, habits etc my email is paulabear792@aol.com, I'm currently seeing a psychologist about eating and ither shit, write to me if you like
I think i need to change.
Apparently I'm too negative. Sorry everyone, I'm going to turn myself around.
I need a new improved personality, perhaps I'll create a second personality and eventually take it over as my own.
I need to be
a) More Social
b) Happier
c) Wordlier and more wellread/intelligent.
I need some work. I'm by far a socialite because I don't think...
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Apparently I'm too negative. Sorry everyone, I'm going to turn myself around.
I need a new improved personality, perhaps I'll create a second personality and eventually take it over as my own.
I need to be
a) More Social
b) Happier
c) Wordlier and more wellread/intelligent.
I need some work. I'm by far a socialite because I don't think...
Read More
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
fenris23:
You don't seem to be too negative about other things you just seem to bash yourself too much.
"The power of Positive Thinking" thats a book on the topic but you probably don't really need a whole book. Just try to stop the self-bashing words from coming out of you mouth they aren't true.
"The power of Positive Thinking" thats a book on the topic but you probably don't really need a whole book. Just try to stop the self-bashing words from coming out of you mouth they aren't true.
simon:
It's not so much you need to start thinking "Positive." You need to start thinking accurately about yourself. It's easy to think possitively. "Just Do It!"
You're probably depressed because you have negative/inaccurate thoughts about yourself. Saying things like " I suck," or "I'm stupid," or "I'm no good at all," is just not true. You're lying to yourself and starting to believe it.
Sure, there are some things we suck at. I also know there are things you DON'T suck at. Just like we ALL do stupid things from time-to-time. but that doesn't make us STUPID.
Stop lying to yourself !!! The more you think shitty things about yourself the more you're gonna believe them!! You're NEVER gonna be perfect. None of us ever will.
You have a girlfriend. Yeah things are rocky right now, but there are obviously some really cool things about you or you wouldn't have someone in your life that cares so much about you.
I'm sure people point out things they like about you. I KNOW your girlfriend does. But I'm also sure that when someone says something nice about you, you don't believe it. There's usually a "Yes, but......" in there somewhere in your mind. REALLY start listening when people give you a compliment. Because they're being honest with you even if you don't see it.
(Wow, sorry for being SO wordy, but I've been through all this too.)
Don't "beat yourself up" for beating yourself up. You've been hard on yourself for years. You're probably not gonna stop overnight. It's OK!! Just recognize that you're being hard on yourself and stop.
Ok, I could go on ALL day. I hope this makes sense. Bottom line. BE GOOD TO YOURSELF!! You deserve it. Be good you yourself and your girlfriend will be good to you.
Take care!!!
-Simon
(Michael)
You're probably depressed because you have negative/inaccurate thoughts about yourself. Saying things like " I suck," or "I'm stupid," or "I'm no good at all," is just not true. You're lying to yourself and starting to believe it.
Sure, there are some things we suck at. I also know there are things you DON'T suck at. Just like we ALL do stupid things from time-to-time. but that doesn't make us STUPID.
Stop lying to yourself !!! The more you think shitty things about yourself the more you're gonna believe them!! You're NEVER gonna be perfect. None of us ever will.
You have a girlfriend. Yeah things are rocky right now, but there are obviously some really cool things about you or you wouldn't have someone in your life that cares so much about you.
I'm sure people point out things they like about you. I KNOW your girlfriend does. But I'm also sure that when someone says something nice about you, you don't believe it. There's usually a "Yes, but......" in there somewhere in your mind. REALLY start listening when people give you a compliment. Because they're being honest with you even if you don't see it.
(Wow, sorry for being SO wordy, but I've been through all this too.)
Don't "beat yourself up" for beating yourself up. You've been hard on yourself for years. You're probably not gonna stop overnight. It's OK!! Just recognize that you're being hard on yourself and stop.
Ok, I could go on ALL day. I hope this makes sense. Bottom line. BE GOOD TO YOURSELF!! You deserve it. Be good you yourself and your girlfriend will be good to you.
Take care!!!
-Simon
(Michael)
I hope things go well for you two!
Take care!! Be good to yourself.
-Simon