telesis

yet another day of craziness has ended...

i just got in the door and mom called from the doctors office. i knew something was wrong the last time i saw her, but didn't know what to say about it. the last thing i wanted her to think was she looked tired or run down or just overall unhealthy. she was in tears and didn't seem to know what to say to me.

what a fucking week! can someone pull me off this ride yet? i've been drinking like a fucking lush and trying to keep my shitty job in tact - all while luring this poor, beautiful girl in and working like a little bitch to line up new media and shows for the band.

she has know idea what she's getting her self into - what a pretty little mess.

the short of the above situation is that i'm sure my mom will have some sort of cancer. i just have a feeling. i don't think i could handle another case of cancer right now. fuck! what an absolutely horrible thing to say right now. fuck! i can be so incredibly self centered sometimes - it makes me sick.

i'm just sitting here listening to "Aimee Mann" while i vent. sorry. she somehow seems to be filling this horrible void i'm feeling.

i think some new ink might help?

until next time...