tds

So, everything that can go wrong has, in fact, gone wrong as it pretains to New Years. I feel horrible, my knee and back are KILLING me, I'm in the midst of some random panic attack, and I can't get a ride to the party I wanted to go to for various reasons. I hate it.

The panic attack is the shittiest non-physical pain thing....
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As this evening is likely going to be as uneventful as a dyslexic ant farm, I'm drinking. Smell the productivity. I could go out to the bar, but...eh, not feeling it.

It's a amazing. I actually came up with a few of what those of adequate constitution call "New Years Resolutions." Well, in a manner of speaking; I know what's missing, and what to work...
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I think I'm watching "True Life: I'm a Stupid Whore." Not sure.

SO glad to be home. It's finally over. I miss reality; time kinda stops at the lake.

I have a toy parrot that records things and sings and generally is obnoxious. By the end of the week, I will make sure it knows "Straight Outta Compton," and various phrases that I know will...
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No internet. Am in a hotspot in Lakeport. I know, right?

Things oddly nice until yesterday. Apparently I'm immature, make poor decisions, am too "random" to be taken seriously, have terrible interpersonal relationships, and am basically to blame for anything because...well, because. Thanks, Mom. Oh, and apparently I'm stuck in the past as well, which makes me more angry than anything because she's full of...
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I'm too tired to post a witty response in SGSac, so I'm writing a blog. Don't ask how that works, because god knows.

Christmas shopping is as done as it's getting. Family better damn well like it.

I can't wait until this year is over. If it ends with me anything less than being retardedly drunk, i will be upset. I don't like feeling like...
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Last night was pretty there. Went out briefly for a burger, then came home. Watched "Wizards" for the first time since I was like eight, which was nice. You'd think you wouldn't be surprised if the mutant kid you named Blackwolf would turn out evil. Fun flick. And I watched "There's Something About Mary" for the first time in forever. Man, I love that movie....
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Drunk I am. Notes in brief:

---Met some girl at the bar. She was neat. Her friends had never heard of SG. Aces, baby, More will be said.

---Jack and coke = death. I seriously remember little.

---Artists rule. How cool is that? They kick ass.

---Wahoo.

---Won't recall this, so comment before i make it go away.

---I rule.

---Where'd my sister go? I...
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It's interesting, I feel in a good mood, but am ridiculously annoyed. No secret why, so no reason to mention it. That sounds slightly logical, right? Anyway, I'm feeling good, overall.

Unless sickness gets in the way, there's a good chance I'll have a legit date next week. Beats this bastardized lazy shit. Nice girl, I guess. Truthfully, there's a part of me that feels...
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I really am concerned by how much of a dick I've turned into. The whole coping device aspect has since expired, not that I would use it as an excuse. But I just catch myself sometimes thinking or (worse) saying horrible things what, while I don't especially feel the need to apologize for, I do feel are best left unthought/unsaid. I am what I am,...
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I feel terrible. Slept for a few hours, only got up so I can sleep later on

My brother and his friend came by about one, left about two thirty or so. Which, you know, really makes that three and a half hour drive TOTALLY worth it. And, by the way, right after I fell asleep, he called me to let me know that...I really...
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