My grandfather (my mom's dad) turned eighty yesterday. EIGHTY. Guy's looked the same my entire life. Former professor at UCLA, traveled all kinds of places, owner of the single most amazing sense of humor I've ever witnessed (both of my grandfathers are blamed for me being the person I am; as time goes on, I realize just how blatantly I've either inherited or aped their senses of humor. If only I were funny, though)-- amazing guy. My mom called to tell me about it last night (I actually forgot both her and my dad's birthdays this year, which I feel kinda bad about), and it suddenly hit me: I'm scared. I mean, eighty is a milestone, to be sure. But since my grandma died last year, I've been so afraid of losing people. That whole thing still fucks with me, and one of the bigger changes I've noticed (there've been MANY) is being scared to death of losing people who mean something. Which is hard these days, because there's a lot of people I really care about. It just is a hard thing to really get past. So, there you go. That's one of those things that isn't going to go away.
Audrey's being a pain. Running laps around the apartment, and sort of playing with her toy of choice (furry thing on an eslastic string with a bell involved somewhere). I say sort of because she seems to prefer staring at it than really attacking it at this point; she'll put in a token swipe, and spin around when it moves, but she just likes watching it. She's left handed, I noticed. Freak. Also now likes Miles Davis.
Class is Wednesday, I need to find a monologue. Been putting this off. Easy enough.
Roller derby chicks are awesome. Getting drunk with them trumps the Santas, only because the roller derby girls broke my brain; Santas at Christmas holds some sense of reason, whereas roller derby girls in uniform is just surreal. But then, I love things like that. And Tank Abbott is a shitty bouncer, and scared me half to death. That was weird.
I'm really not in a mood to write, or if I am, it won't play here. I feel a little less distracted today. Well, about the usual stuff. I'll know when I know, you know? Actually you don't, because I'm all cryptic and frustrating. I wish I wasn't like that.
Later.
Audrey's being a pain. Running laps around the apartment, and sort of playing with her toy of choice (furry thing on an eslastic string with a bell involved somewhere). I say sort of because she seems to prefer staring at it than really attacking it at this point; she'll put in a token swipe, and spin around when it moves, but she just likes watching it. She's left handed, I noticed. Freak. Also now likes Miles Davis.
Class is Wednesday, I need to find a monologue. Been putting this off. Easy enough.
Roller derby chicks are awesome. Getting drunk with them trumps the Santas, only because the roller derby girls broke my brain; Santas at Christmas holds some sense of reason, whereas roller derby girls in uniform is just surreal. But then, I love things like that. And Tank Abbott is a shitty bouncer, and scared me half to death. That was weird.
I'm really not in a mood to write, or if I am, it won't play here. I feel a little less distracted today. Well, about the usual stuff. I'll know when I know, you know? Actually you don't, because I'm all cryptic and frustrating. I wish I wasn't like that.
Later.
what a downer....sorry...been a bit down lately, not really sure why. anyhow all i really wanted to say is i have the same fear of losing people close to me, and it's a mofo for sure.
sorry if you thought i meant you were cryptic, it's just sometimes the things you say, would make more sense if we were you. if that makes sense...it's not all the time though.